Sullen spring’s the blushing hood
of hemlock in the waking wood,
impatient promise understood.
Hopeful summer’s verdigris
on spreading limbs of every tree
to poison with facility.
Dreaming autumn’s fading gold,
the slip of daylight from our hold,
pretence of summer, growing old.
Shattered winter’s crystal rain
has washed away all youth with pain –
we shall not pass this way again…
Thus, as seasons change, we find
the common fate of womankind.
Author notes
Picture prompt - see bella-babie's contest.
The form used has been provisionally called a "St George's Sonnet", though it is not particularly sonnet-like except for the line-count and the use of a final couplet. http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2342251
In a list
A contest entry
- Not a sonnet by cricketjeff.
1800 points, ended April 28, 23 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture prompt; 10 entries, I NEED 3 MORE PLEASE ENTER!! by perfectsunset.
380 points, ended May 6, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is lovely, elegant, and enchanting.
I proclaim it to be so. 
Sweetly penned, most surely.
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Why... thank you.
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This is wonderfully done, i like the poem and the form is great. i think i'll give one a shot, maybe..
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Enjoy. It's there to use.
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yay !
I loooooove this one ...
of course, I first got entranced by the creative meter-scheme before going for the message ... shame on me ...
I definitely must try out this "saint george's sonnet-form" very soon ...
funny, I wrote a poem about the "inner seasons" yesterday, so stumbling upon this verse of yours was delightful synchronicity for me ...
thank you so much,
maa
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I have been writing them for a week or so now, and generally throwing them into the waste-basket
Try one, and enjoy - bend them to your will, as you have done the Marshalline.
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This was originally in the prize mix, but as we debated we decided what we really meant by "not a sonnet" and it included an accidental element. The winning poem is brilliant, and was a sonnet that spilled over, second and third place were poems that grew and got finished in ways that left them feeling like sonnets to the reader, but neither poet is likely to repeat the form.
This poem is beautiful but in a form that others could and will use. To prove it I shall be setting up a contest for St George's sonnets. After I write one myself. -
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You did it - you rose to my bait!
Your rules said nothing about not being in a form that others would use - and indeed you seem to have honoured more than one "sonnet-with-an-extra-quatrain" - or that the poet would never use again. The emergence of the structure of this poem was utterly accidental too.
You see, Jeff, when you rise to my bait, you tie yourself in knots, and end up adding rules which weren't there. That simply makes your decision-making seem weaker. Don't do it!
Micol's poem won for one simple reason - it was a damn fine poem in its own right, and stood head-and-shoulders above anything the rest of us could come up with.
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Micol's poem winning was the only easy bit of judging. It is one of the best poems I have read on AP.
And yes we added extra "rules" we had to because I did such a lousy job of saying what I wanted. I honestly didn't know, until I had this selection to look at. Micol's is the only "sonnet plus a quatrain" neither of the other winners would be "sonnets" with the extra lines removed, they are poems, that in their whole made us think "sonnet". Another finallists poem we decided was in fact a sonnet and got no prize at all.
This was one of the hardest and most fun to judge contests I have ever been involved with. -
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I will say no more about your retrospective rule-making, Jeff, except get it right next time!
I fully endorse your opinion of Micol's poem - easily one of the best I have ever read here too!
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Congratulations, this is a form that I might try, I find it quite intriguing.
Just think of the cup as a gold with verdi gris, because it was worth the gold.
All the best...Sue
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I would love you to try it, Sue.
Thank you for the compliment too, but even if this one had been judged sufficiently un-sonnet-like, it could never have beaten Micol's, which is simply an outstanding poem whatever the criteria!
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And--I think--mankind as well. This poems speaks eloquently for all life. Congratulations.
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Mairi, have you ever heard the song 'Nobody does it better?'by Carly Simon? well that really doesn't matter it's just the phrasing of 'Nobody does it better' that applys to you and your poetry!! and may I ask a seasonal question or two? in what season does Hormonal Hurricanes happen? and what month does Menopausal Monsoons hit? as a woman in her forties I'm interested.
laurie
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I don't know. I hit my fifties a few months ago, and I am waiting for the latter to clobber me any minute!
Thanks for the Carly Simon reference.
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Incerdible poetess. Love the journey and the language. Thanks for sharing. Write on. One.
Dez
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Thanks, Dez.
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I am beginning to notice ...
those season's slip slidin' away and your thoughts, so spot on, for that long stroll to that place where time hides her face and awakes (hopefully) in eternity's arms where we will no longer be judged by outward appearances! I loved your approach to this contest and the form you chose for 'not a sonnet'. joy
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Well it kinda fell into the latter. Jeff and I have probably scuppered it, by agreeing to call the form a "St George's Sonnet".
I am glad you like the poem, Joy. Thank you.
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Who cares if it's a sonnet - it is a form unto itself.
I like the seasonal imagery and its application to life. We are all going the same way, why struggle?
Best of luck with this!
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Thank you.
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Oh this was absolutely beautiful!! I love your language in this, brilliance shines through your words and there is so much meaning, emotion & depth. I like how you ended the poem comparing the seasons with the common fate of womankind. Excellent write & gorgeous imagery! Thanks for entering & best of luck in my contest
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wow Mairi...
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Thank you for that "wow".
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I promised myself I would only leave a two word comment. I lie to myself... This is fantastic, the meter in this poem is perfect prijecting a wonderful image. Damn! I said too much!
Love,
Amera♥
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You can never say too much, Sis.
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You can when you're the contest judge!!!
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Och away! Let the lassie have her fun.
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not to pass again... so fundamental, and this poem seems full of the basic truths one needs to use as tools of life how precious and fleeting is time...PK
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... and there I was, thinking it was bleak and cynical.
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Four sets of triplets and a concluding couplet--ambitious...and successful. A beautifully-composed poem which is a pleasure to read.
Excellent work,
Bill
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Thanks, Bill. Believe it or not, the form wasn't contrived - it just flowed.
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Sounds good, feels right, message beautiful, written by an elegant poetess who must dream poetry at night and write by day.
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Yes - and it's utter torture, I wish I could stop!
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Very nice. Colorful and meaningful. Bunnyworthy.-
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Bunnies gratefully accepted. I work on bunnyworthiness.
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I love the form!!!!
Makes me go
ooooooo
Poem excellent too. I want to play I shall have a go at that later!!!
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Feel free. I think I just invented another form of sonnet. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to! It just turned out to be 14 lines!
If you're going to have a go, notice the lines which are 7-syllable, and the ones which are regular tertrameter. Enjoy!
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