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The Lay By

I pulled into a lay by cause I was taken short
Cocked my leg over the fence my trousers then got caught
Crouching in the nettles my nuts smarting for lent
I picked a piece of paper up labled” Keens Cement”
I wiped round my perimeter as gentle as I could
Being very cautious as anybody would
I tried to “go”much later on but thought “My god its healed”
Then discovered thanks to “Keens cement”
I found my fate was sealed.

Author notes

JUDMC

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 50 of 50

  • jayzway
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    good luck on the contest


  • jayzway
    August 31
    Edit | Reply

    Perfect!!!

    This was very funny... I just loved it


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    LOL This had me laughing. The imagery was the best. I can't stop laughing. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest.

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    This was funny. I enjoyed this piece. Congrats on all the trophies you've won and good luck in the other contests. Great imagery, as well as spectacular imagery in this. WOW! BRAVO! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • The cliche typo
    July 9
    Edit | Reply

    hahas

    funny


  • lovergirl1558
    May 31
    Edit | Reply
    i think i might get "keens cement" sometime...loll
    good luck in the contest


  • aboomer silver member
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    cute - 'Keens Cement' sounds like a good thing to have on hand...lol

    thank you for your entry
    best wishes in the contest


  • paperparadox silver member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry...

    Please do not respond in any way to this message until the judging is complete. Thank you.

    Oh dear! Such is the joy of the call of nature... Nicely done with a humorous catch at the end.

    This is how you scored:

    Laugh-o-meter: 7/10

    Spelling/grammar: 7/10

    'I pulled into a lay bye' (lay-by)
    There are a few apostrophes missing, too.

    Flow: 7/10

    Rhyme (if applicable): 7/10

    Total score: 28/40

    Many thanks for taking the time to enter this contest, and best of luck!


  • Mickie27
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was very funny. What gave you the idea for this poem? I like the Rugrats wallpaper as well. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

    • judmc
      October 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Demon Godess

      Many thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf man" glad you enjoyed
      reading it Best Wishes George ++++

    • judmc
      October 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Mickie27

      Many thanks for your comments on "The Lay Bye" I got the idea from
      being taken short at a lay bye, the "Keen's Cement" was an integral part of my "keen" sense of humour (pun intended)Best Wishes George


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    OH this was too funny.
    And it for sure made me smile.
    Thank you for that and thanks for sharing this piece.
    i'm still smiling at this.. great write. Good luck in the contest.
    -Mandi


  • Beverlynohime
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    If I said I didn't get it...would you kill me?? ^^;;

    • judmc
      September 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Beverlique

      A "Lay bye" is a roadside respite park without toilet facilities
      "Taken short" means "to have an urgent need to empty ones bowels
      "Keen's Cement is quick setting.Wiping ones Butt on the paper thereof could result in hilarious ensuance resulting in ones fate and butt being sealed in consequence.Is English your 2nd language ? I hope this helps in clearing up the issue (not the butt) Best Wishes George
      P.S.hope your fate is never sealed in a "Lay Bye"


      • Beverlynohime
        September 28, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        No english is not my second language...thanks for the clearing up. I get it now. I just had no idea what a lay bye was...Keen's Cement I understood.


  • Griswold gold member
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering and best of luck...Scott

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    oops sry ok

    ok it wasn't bad apparently everyone likes it, I just didn't think it was that funny. not that it was bad i just personally didnt think it was the best thing ever writen. Somewhat Cliche I guess or unoriginal or something. (to be honest if I didn't hear that's what she said jokes that were funny all day I would have probably laughed)

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ok


  • sensualbutterfly
    September 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOL! Nice imagery! Thanks for the entry


  • Florida Sunshine
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I got it ~ my first thought was 'OH' ~ no... excellent job ~ interesting write all together ~ Thanks so much for entering it into the contest ~

    Best of luck to you, it was my pleasure to read and review your work.

    Florida Sunshine


  • HereComesTheSun
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    im not sure what this is about but then again im very slow and gullible but your overall rhyming was fantastic


  • Meroza
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hahahahaha! This one's so funny! You did an excelent job in writing this, perfectly fitting what I am looking for.

    Thanks for entering!


  • Darkwell
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very funny i can see you on the fence with your imagery which is awesome LOL WTG good luck in the contest


  • Ace13
    August 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't really get what this is saying, i don't get what has happened. So if you would please explain to me


  • Juggalo-King
    August 27, 2008
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    funy funy funy good luck


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very funny, well written poem with good flow of the rhyming verse. Worthy of all past trophies received.
    However, this piece is not relevant to the picture prompt in this contest.
    Thanks for you entry!


  • mitchie
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering!


  • JustFallingApart
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice write


  • marciakay81
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lmao...very funny. thanks for the entry.


  • BluesMan gold member
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Funny little story here Thank you for entering my contest


  • 2lullabyhaven
    July 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, a whole lot of pain infused in this one; hahaha thanks for your entrylol


  • crazymomma
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOL> This was very funny. I enjoyed the imagery here. Nice write. Thanks for entering


  • CowboyFan1
    July 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry


  • daviscth silver member
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for posting this very funny poem in my contest. I enjoyed the imagery in it a lot.


  • Play-A-War
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, i'm sorry but im my contest rules the poem has to be between 12-42 lines, so therefore will have to remove this. Do feel free to add a diffrent poem...

    It's a good write though.

    Thanks for entering.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Oh my goodness

    This is too funny


  • echo-ink
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

    NEED I SAY MORE? THANKS FOR THE VISION.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    June 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sealed indeed, what a way to go; thanks for your entry into my contest and good luck lol

    • judmc
      June 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      2lullabyhaven

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Lay bye"
      glad you liked it. Best Wishes George ++++


  • Thom Boulton
    May 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good...

    Thank you for entering


  • daviscth silver member
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOL. Thanks for posting this. I quite enjoyd it.


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh gosh, what a shock! I'm not familiar with a "lay bye", but I get the idea from the context of the piece. The ending of the poem made me laugh. I loved the play on words in the last line. Thanks so much for entering my contest!

    • judmc
      May 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      La Tua Cantante

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on"Animal Rights"
      Very much appreciated.Glad you liked it.Best Wishes George

    • judmc
      May 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Ratherimaginative

      Many Thanks for your kind remarks on the "LAY Bye"
      (A Lay Bye is a respite park up spot for motorists)
      Glad you liked it Best Wishes George ++++


  • SilencefillsMySoul
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thank you for entering my contest. I could just picture this fence you mentioned here in your poem. I love imagery pieces and you did very well here.


  • SliptheFlitch
    May 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ***

    Haha I liked this alot. Good poem. ^.^ Thanks for entering

    ~Slip~


  • gaze
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really funny, made me laugh out loud imagining the scene. What a weird situation, during and after, kind of using supper glue on wrong places

    You didn't say which poem this is a parody of, but I thank you for the good laugh.

    Mari


  • Sir Ima Cucumber
    April 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    LOL, you are a weird fellow. I guess there is a moral, always look at the paper before you use it. One good thing, I bet doctors have seen weirder things down in that area.

    Not sure it's a parody however since I don't know what you've mimicked. Let me know if you do have a link to what you've parodied.


  • dustookie2
    April 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well that'll learn ya...LMAO  what can I say may send you a chisel or some hot curry Nicely penned, good luck in the contest.

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