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Cabernet

 ::

The
mirror
reflects her
beautiful truth.
:::::
Wrinkled stories weaved
with pretty lines on her face,
gorgeous experienced grace,
twinkled eyes don’t lie.
:::::
Glamorous grey
confidence,
never
quite
feeling
old enough
to know better.
:::::
Body flashes hot,
she calls it a power surge
and always resists the urge
to wish from fountains.
:::::
Kicking back her
discounted
caffeine
shots,
she eats
whatever
the hell she wants.
:::::
Making moments count,
embracing her grains of sand,
holding them tightly in hand,
she builds her castle.
:::::
Thankful for her
aged fine wine
drunken
soul.

::

 

 

Author notes

*Arkquain Swirl*
Credit for Form...Arkbear

*syllable cnt: 1234~5775~4321234~5775~4321234~5775~4321
*7 syllable lines end rhyme

(trying new stuff again)


A contest entry

: , Your review:

Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
: no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 39 of 39

  • faderman1959
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is definitely worthy of winning the gold! Excellent from start to finish! I loved everything about this!

  • NeonRose silver member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa...this is amazing! I tried and tried to get my lines to look good enough to enter this..and finally just gave up! You make it look easy!! Congratulations on the Gold!


  • Gwenevere
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent.The drunken bit probably applies to me.Lovely thoughts on becoming more mature.Cheers!!!, Ros


  • apoeticinjustice
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    you're certainly branching out into new forms, and your skills at creating beautiful work continues to amaze me. This is beautiful, visually, conceptually and within the words themselves. A wonderful read, very well done.
    Rory


  • temporarily-this
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    Gorgeous! Apart from being obviously aesthetically brilliant, I love feel of these words too. Parts of it feel so 'real' - 'never quite feeling old enough to know better' and 'she eats whatever the hell she wants', two particular lines that stood out to me. 'To age gracefully' sounds cliche but this poem expresses it in beautiful words and stunning imagery. Your title is perfect. Congratulations on the well-deserved gold!


  • Peteskid gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    interesting form, very visual; but for me the words are the magic...affirmation and understanding; the true benefits of life experience...this is a remarkable poem...PK


  • Rovingone gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, now that's a powerful one. And, grabbing the grains of sand is totally cool. What a line. Bet thouse gorgeous experianced graces are something!

  • teddybare
    May 21

    Edit | Reply

    every woman is a hero

    this is enveloping.. like the form though i know not a thing about it .. but ofcourse its a gold winner.. poet keep on poeting incase it works.. i pitty the fool that dont like this poem sucka!


  • poppa silver member
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow ....great write..interesting form and you have handled it superbly....congrats on the gold


  • Sagerider gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    Great write

    I loved it. Sometimes it is hard to convince yourself you are still a kid but if you work at it you can do it.


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    Exquisite piece of jewellery and I like the way in which each stanza/facet is complete in itself, I like the sound of the woman too.
    Congratulations on the Gold.

    Sol


  • crazymomma
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! I really like the format here. I am amazed that you could do this and still make it flow so well. I really liked the next to last verse. Well, actually, I really liked the whole thing. I would use all my points on applause if AP would let me. EXCELLENT!


  • unsigned gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    wow aren't you a clever little Poet...

    Love this it is stunning!

    So glad I stopped by...

    Unsigned....at your service.
  • celadia gold member
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem, such clear images, fantastic, congrats on the gold, I can see why it won.

  • dillpickle62
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    Congrat's Jamie!

    Truely an amazing writer/poet. We are all born with a gift. You were born with a natural Golden gift.
    Some wicked happy for you.

  • Arkbear gold member
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    Jamie, Jamie, Jamie ~

    I have to start somewhere....so let's begin with count..........perfect ~

     

    Flow.....superb ~

     

    Imagery.....Powerful!

     

    Theme.....best original in contest.....and your ability to place this in unrestricted story-form is simply amazing ~

     

    The presentation of your aesthetics is TOP-NOTCH work my friend.......this is the second most beautiful Arkquain Swirl I have ever seen ~

     

    To pull this off, is genius and proof that there are Poets who take their work as seriously as I do.....thank you for that ~

     

    The Arkquain Swirl was created to be Art.....and you have not only given this form justice, but you have surpassed your own expectations I do believe.....STANDING OVATION in southern CA!!!!

    Loved so many parts of this write, so it ended up, that alllll your lines blew me away with thought and depth and creativity ~

     

    Headed to Finals with this piece of grammatical Art ~

     

    God bless you Jamie and the best to you and your entry,

     

    Bear ~

     

     


    • jamiedoring gold member
      May 6

      Edit | Reply

      Thank you :)

      Thank you so much for the gold....even more so for the comment, truly means alot....You have introduced me to something I would not have otherwise done (form) and I am slightly addicted now and experimenting like crazy....I can not thank you enough for that either.

      This is a beautiful form you have created..... and this write here is one of my most recent favorites for sure. I appreciate aesthetics, so to take my love for words and make them look all pretty....yet read like poetry....Im hooked. Thanks again! God bless you too friend.

      Jamie

      • Arkbear gold member
        May 6

        Edit | Reply

        Thank you Jamie ~

        It is you who deserves the thanks.....a well-penned entry with perfection glowing from this page

        I expect to see you in all of my Poetry Formed contests.....you have what it takes.....chat later!

        Well earned Gold!

        Bear ~


  • x x always his x x
    May 2
    Edit | Reply
    haha this was great
    I loved it...made me smile


  • Patpowersnoshoepoet gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Good job on this style of poetry. I enjoyed the imagery you conveyed. Hope Arkbear liked it! THANKS AGAIN!!


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic shape! wonderful images I, in midlife, can relate to.

    I especially love the middle!


  • faderman1959
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    I have never seen the form before so I am truly impressed with what I see here! I love learning new forms! You did a wonderful job with it by the way!
    As for the poem itself, I think it is right on the money! Women definitely get better with age! At least I think so! All women are beautiful but as they get older they seem to understand its more than just physical. Its the whole package. Excellent poem!


  • james119
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the read. Thanks for posting it.


  • kruptytheclown
    April 25

    Edit | Reply

    holy hell

    There is no way that this isn't your style. It flowed so naturally and was just amazing. I am now your next biggest fan!


  • ForeverLastingComa
    April 24
    Edit | Reply
    this poem had a great flow to it..i enjoyed reading this a lot i liked the way you formatted this poem..never seen anyone format it like that before, very orignal..i especially liked these lines

    Wrinkled stories weaved
    with pretty lines on her face,
    gorgeous experienced grace,
    twinkled eyes don’t lie

    Awsome Write! =D
  • mrme
    April 24
    Edit | Reply

    OUTSTANDING

    You're a poetic genius. OUTSTANDING !!!!!!


  • lechap
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Kicking back her discounted caffeine shots, she eats whatever the hell she wants- Hell ya, nice line. I wish I new that girl. Cool form. I dig the design of it. How long did that take? Either way, nice poem.


  • Zombina
    April 24
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful!! =] Love it!!

  • intanglio2ring
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    And each sip is a delight to the tongue - like your poem to the mind! Wonderful use of the form & to carry your lady
    Good Luck in the contest!
    Tang


  • aboomer
    April 24
    Edit | Reply
    I love your wording! and this is such a pretty shape! Really like this one!


  • Lil-Bit Crazy silver member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is awesome.. i havent the slightest clue how you made that design tho lol.... but i like it.. alot..... id say thats talent...!

    yea and screw age..lol.... Im crying that i will turn 30 this year... booooo hoooooooo hoooooooo

  • Metaphorist silver member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Haha. I just wrote a poem about sandcastles too. I loved this though. To hell with aging, right? Wonderful work. Great rhyme and format.

  • writingdelight silver member
    April 24
    Edit | Reply
    Not your usually style, but wonderful as always!! Keep up the great writes!!!

  • dillpickle62
    April 24
    Edit | Reply

    Very Smooth

    Yes... nothing like a comfortable woman with herself and a fine wine aged. Beautiful poem here. Many well wishes in this contest.


  • CanadianGirl1
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    Keep trying new things!!

    This Rocks!

  • Rudolf
    April 23

    Edit | Reply

    Bear candy

    Show this to arkbear, he'll be impressed
    his page has lots, Arkquains with zest
    you added ryhme, flowed in quite nice
    like poem icing, sweet swirled spice...
    rudolf


  • islekine
    April 23
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully penned Jamie!

    It looks really pretty on the page too! Best wishes in the contest!
    Write on!
    *PEACE*


  • dragonzbloodxgirl
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    This was really good!! keep it up!!!

  • joeybueno gold member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply

    lovely

    The title sets a warm and comfortable tone; love it. There is nothing hotter than seeing an attractive women drinking a glass of wine. As fine as an aged glass of cabarnet. great job.

1 - 39 of 39