I'd give his eyes a deeper look
If they would look at me.
I'd hold the hand I've never shook
If he would set them free.
I'd kiss his lips but for his tongue
Which ought to be more sharp
But though I've only just begun
And on his flaws I long could harp,
There is one thing that captures me -
That haults my sad fault-counting game;
I love the way he says my name.
A contest entry
- PROMPT: This is for all the beautiful people ...-#67-TAKE A LOOK INSIDE by Roaddog Wolf.
1000 points, ended April 26, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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yes I enjoyed your approach
and the rhyme was well done, good write....
thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest
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Intense
and very interesting. I think there's more than one game being played here.
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An excellent contest entry--well written & Versed!!
Well Done & Best of luck in the contest!
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beautiful.
this poem is absolutly beautiful. its romantic and its like the poem is speaking itself. great write! -
I think this is an excellent piece. Love the rhyming; this is intriguing and beautiful. Loved this.
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romantique
i love the way you have expressed the vocal sense to speak the poem itself. Thevolume, words stuttered and maybe some with question marks over < it makes me think about what was said, what needs to be said and what wasn't said. It's the second chance of sense you have a chnace of getting to know someone by. First is the eyes as you mention in the first two lines yet love is said to be blind.. and love at first sight is very doubted. So I think you've done amazing and have addressed the subject of 'personality' in a relationship to be the most important thing.
keep writing beautiful rhyme! xxxxxx
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