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Thru the pain and sorrow i seem to go on.
My journey continues and i grow with more strength.
His mind feels weak and his body waning to claps.
O lord please help ME
His skin pale and his body dripping with sweat.
How could things get so bad?
I turned around to see him lying on the wet ground.
This is all my fault
O lord please help ME
I should have stopped him
before his own body couldn't function
or before he had thrown up all over the neighbor's car
He didn't just have a drink lord, he drank the poison of the devil.
O lord please help me
What do i do?
should i stay with him till he gets better?
should i bring him home to his parents...
so his father can just beat him anyway.
O lord please help ME
Thru his pain and his sorrow he will learn.
and
on his journey he will grow stronger.
O Lord please help HIM.

 

 

- A.L.B

What do u think about this poem? let me know plzz!!

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Comments


  • Kari gold member
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome To AP

    Hello imakeurtearsfade,

    Oh wow, this prayer is so heartfelt. It almost gave me tears in my eyes!
    I can see a few things that need correction but..because of what it is I won't say anything.
    This is just amazing the way it is.
    That place you're in would be such a horrible one!

    I noticed that you didn't have a title for this?
    Maybe call it " Lord, please help Him "
    or either " Lord, please help "
    something along those lines

    I hope that you're able to sort, and work things out!


    Kari,
    Site Greeter


  • Run Rhen Run
    April 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    why is ME capatalized? o.o i like how you said, 'His skin pale and his body dripping with sweat'isntead of his pale sking and his body... it makes it a little more... i dont know, but i like it. i like the poem in all. ahh, you capatalized all the me's and the hims. it makes a little more sense then. what happened? did this boy die? or is he made up?