It’s funny how quickly things can change,
how fast control can get outta range.
It seems just like it was yesterday.
I was free of my chains, and I liked it that way.
So glad to be free of distraction…
but now I am caught up in this fatal attraction.
It didn’t happen overnight,
this growing attachment that’s causing my plight.
A bug crawled into my heart, so quietly,
laid its eggs without a sound, silently.
They hatched and crawled into my veins,
took over my heart and control of the reins.
Two years down the road and I wonder, what happened?
How did I get caught in this nightmare, perceiving no end?
I said I’d never let it get as bad as it was before…
I lied, for now it’s worse than that, and becomes so more and more.
How I fell this deep I do not know, the answer remains unfound.
I’m trapped in this whirlpool, cold and deep, and I feel like I could drown.
“What do you think of me?” I wonder. I really do not know.
I wish that if you cared about me, that you would let it show.
Sometimes I’m really curious if you know how I feel,
but still you keep a poker face, and your thoughts I cannot steal.
I’m so sick of this uncertainty, continually knowing nothing at all.
I want to give you my fragile heart, but I’m worried you’ll let it fall.
I’m so afraid to take a chance, my courage fails me still.
I know one day it’ll be too late, my love you’ll silently kill.
I love you! I love you, more than words can say,
but if I uttered those three words I’d surely chase you away…
yet if I say nothing I’ll simply have no chance.
I’m an everlasting victim of this circumstance
Author notes
option 4 (what's on yur mind) - this situation is very much still alive, especially today...i very much feel this way and it's def on my mind
A contest entry
- Give Me Love...With a Twist by Hidden.
480 points, ended June 7, 2008, 38 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Wow! Very powerful and heartfelt. I could really "feel" this poem. I enjoyed every word. Normally I would get distracted but this kept me till the end.
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hmm i like the thought and idea you put behind this it is very uniqu
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aww i can relate assuch this is happeninh throughout my life ... yeah i wish i could know what he thinks.. anways great write and good luck!
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aww i'm sorry, this was a great poem, keep on writing
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The last line definately wrapped up the entire idea of the poem, and it was my favorite line of the whole piece. I really like what you've done here, thanks for entering.
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Ooooh, the poker face line is the best - I know how that feels to try and try and try to figure someone out... to figure out if they like you, or what they think about anything in general - and Nothing, absolutely nothing. This is why I am not with my daughters father. Ughh - sorry to get all personal in your comment, but I can just totally relate to this. Best of luck to you in this contest
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So True!
The confusion of the poet gets through so beautifully. It is so hard to make the decision of expressing your feelings to the person you love especially when he is a good friend, you would never want to jeopardize the already existing relationship for something you have only hoped for in your dreams and is questionable.
As I said it is hard but not exactly impossible.
If you really know your friend well enough, you would probably also be able to guess the kind of reaction he would have to your words. If he knows the kind of person you are but doesn't share your feelings will he hold that against you and screw up your friendship or will he get over it after a while and resume the relationship on the original terms? You ought to figure that out before saying anything. Maybe he is as worked up about you as you are about him but just doesnt know how to tell you because he fears the samething as you.
A subtle hinting would give you your answer, guys can be pretty dense. He will forget about it after a while, so don't you worry!
I kind of realized I sound like a quack but you know "been there done that" I just couldn't bear watching another wrecked soul!
Best wishes in your endeavours! tc -
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thanks for your comments! i know - i think the main thing holding me back is not knowing how our friendship would be if he didn't feel the same way. cause i know it'd take me a long time to see him as only a friend... it would be so awkward for a while! i'm sure i'll figure this out sooner or later!
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"Sometimes I’m really curious if you know how I feel,
but still you keep a poker face, and your thoughts I cannot steal."
This feeling is dreadful, isn't it? Attraction that you're not sure is returned. You've expressed yourself really well with this! At times I don't think it flowed as best as it could have, but otherwise I liked it. Thanks for entering. -
The flow in this poem is great! You did a wonderful job coupling that with smooth rhyming. The overall picture is fantastic! I like the opener a lot. It sets the stage and theme for what you are going to say in the rest of the poem. In the second stana, where you describe the "fatal attraction", I really like the illustration of a bug egg, like a parasite, that hatches and grows and grows and suddenly takes over! Very clever! In the third stanza, you talk about how bad your relationship is going. You speak about how you feel, mostly, but you don't say if your feelings are "right" or not. The reader doesn't know if you are in a good relationship mostly with only a few bad spots, or the other way around. It's like a hazy area that isn't cleared up at the end. Because the reader isn't sure about that, in the fourth stanza, we don't know if we should think you should give your heart to this person or not. Also, you bring up in the fourth stanza that if you say "I love you" you will "surely chase (him/her) away…" but if you don't, you won't have a chance in the relationship. It's hard to know what to think because we don't know the nature of the relationship. I'm probably looking to much into this, but it led to some confusion. The ending is GREAT! You really gave me a lasting impression which was enhanced by the rhyming. Well done! Don't be discouraged, and good luck in the contest! =D
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to offer some clarification on the situation:
there's a friend that i really care about, but i have no idea how he feels about me, and i'm a huge chicken and haven't worked up the courage to say anything to him yet. i'm mad at myself cause the last time i was in this situation i promised myself i wouldn't get so attached to someone who didn't return the sentiment, but here i am in a deeper hole than before! and i really wanna say something but i'm not ready for a relationship yet, i have goals to accomplish and so does he, but still i'm afraid if i wait too long it'll be too late. arrg!
thanks for your comments <3 -
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oooh! What a difficult situation. Thanks for the clarification! =D
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