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Chattanooga

I can’t remember, time that I last smiled.
I can’t remember, the last bath I had.
The soldier in my care was but a child,
with dying words he said; “I love you Dad”.
It’s been so long since daylight graced my eye;
the caves are deep and dark beneath the ground.
I lost a child; yet saved a Union spy;
a river of blood, I have tightly bound.
Today is but another grueling day
and one more head will lie upon my lap.
A crimson stain upon a shirt of grey,
with bandages I carefully unwrap.
    Someday I’ll leave the torches of this cave
    and know that I have cared for men so brave.

 

 

 

Author notes

Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga Tennessee is riddled with caves and the lower ones were used during the Civil War as a Confederate hospital.

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Rovingone gold member
    September 30, 2008

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    Such a heartfelt piece of emotional writing, on a historical subject. You captured all the feelings of those who lived through the horrors of that war and the sights they had to encounter on a daily basis.


  • Ithica silver member
    April 28, 2008

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    This is fantastic... I love the historical elements as well as the emotional... It bothers me that you didn't hit the podium with this entry... ??? Now I have to go see what the winners did... I have a hard time believing they could be better than this... ???


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    April 24, 2008

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    Sis, this is exquisite. I love the historical context, the well-though story behind it, and of course, how you wrote it flawlessly!
    When we were driving through Pennsylvania, we stopped at a place called "Indian Echo Caverns" and took a tour. They said the woman a man loved was falsely accused of murder. He had to go to the governor to get a stay of execution (she was sentenced to be hanged), but a flood prevented him from getting to the governor and back in time. When he came back and found out she was dead, he disappeared from town and lived in the cave until he died.
    Your poem reminded me of that heart-wrenching story.
    Of course, your poem was much better!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    April 24, 2008
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    I knew this one would be recognised.


    • Amera gold member
      April 24, 2008
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      Thanks Sis,
      It didn't do very well though; did it?


      • Mairi bheag gold member
        April 24, 2008

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        It did honourably, Sis. You and I are justifiably proud of our poetry.


  • paulcreates silver member
    April 22, 2008

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    Wow this is quite interesting that you're writing about local history. I never knew about the caves and their connection to the Civil war.
    Well done Amera. I liked this one.

    Paul


  • StarEyes
    April 22, 2008

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    Wow! This is truly a powerful read! The images that are shown with your words are amazing! You always amaze me when it comes to your writing!!

    Best of luck to you in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • malmadre gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    I like rhyme that tells a story...this one is great! The civil war left scars as deep as those caves..TN is my home state, I go there often, passing through Chattanooga across Missionary Ridge.


  • PerVirtuous
    April 22, 2008

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    Very powerful narrative sonnet. I like it. You capture the horrors of those in support positions. The language is very colorful and phrasing well balanced. Kudos.


  • Desire gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    Oh My!!

    When I read the title, tears swelled within my eyes and so I prepared myself for the emotions also the extra images about to come~
    Powerful piece!!

    Tugs hard at the Heartstrings
    I lost a child, yet saved a Union spy;
    a river of blood that I have tightly bound.
    Today is but another grueling day
    and one more head will lie upon my lap.
    A crimson stain upon a shirt of grey,
    Beautiful rhyme~ with sad tale told...
    but needing to be said

    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~



  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    Brilliant

    Excellent sonnet
    Such a vivid imagination placed in this piece as well
    You have painted with words brave men in the caves {hospitals} in Chattanooga Tennessee.

    Wish you the best in the contest

    Much love
    Many blessings
    David


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    Excellent!
    I love conversational poetry. Absolutely the correct layout, there are no stanzas in this but it is a perfect sonnet, development volta resolution the lot.
    Majestic from your majesty


  • C.Thunderstruck
    April 22, 2008
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    Such a nice poem. well done I applaud u.
    Keep it coming


  • ourgirlFriday
    April 22, 2008

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    Awesome!

    Profoundly moving! A job well done. Your use of the terrain of Tennesee and your notes in commentary are of much use! Wonderful write! Good luck in the contest!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    April 22, 2008
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    Thoughtful, Sis.

  • Papagallo
    April 22, 2008

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    You described the darkness of war well. The Civil War was horrible as all wars are. The caves are indeed sad as well as the fields of battle at that time. I have beenthere many times and waited in silence in hopes of seeing some spirits. They are there it is a somber place.


  • RedAquarius
    April 22, 2008

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    Somewhat off-topic but I love visiting Ruby Falls and Rock City (mostly for the view off Lovers Leap) - fun visit only about 2 hrs from me. Anyway, good stuff here, I never knew those caves were used in such a way. Rather sad but with a touch of uplifted honor at the end.


    • Amera gold member
      April 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment. Off topic? The prompt is "Civil War". It's just a female point of view.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    Aw, this is so awesome! when I was stationed with 101st at Fort Campbell Kentucky, I took a tour of the Chattanooga caves, and as soon as we walked into them, I got the coldest chill, and it was the middle of summer! I think perhaps I am receptive to spirits or something. wonderful write Amera.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • queen Moderators member
    April 22, 2008

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    It was a hard grueling existence, excellent poem Good luck in the contest


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    April 22, 2008

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    Nice poem!
    I live 50 miles from Chattanooga and go there every week.
    On a clear day you can see Lookout Mountain from my house.
    Rock City, Ruby Falls...

    We often picnic in the Chickamauga battlefield park.

    Place is full of ghosts

    D


    • Amera gold member
      April 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Really? I've been to Ruby Falls and never heard about the ghosts.

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