me and other girls

girls are bitches
it's really
an ingrained trait
they seem to be born with;
all the ones I've met
anyways

start with those
overused elevator eyes
they go up

              and

              down
[especially if you're better looking]

then they make this noise
sort of like an
"uh!"
accompanied by an
"oh my god!"
and hand-on-hip
body stance

and my personal favorite
is when
they like some boy
and he either likes you, or
you hook up with him, or
he thinks you're hot

and then

oh,
and then,
you can say goodbye
to any congeniality
or toleration of any kind
it's a full-on
bitchfest
maybe a bitchfight
some hair pulling?
some bitch slapping?
some arm scratching?

and then here I am
thinking
why wasn't I born a guy?
too bad
I'm attracted to men
or I'd sign up for a sex change
immediately.