Oh God
since the infancy of mine
I am observing
that I am with countless pursuits
I have to do this
and I have to do that
I am accompanying every labor
just alienated
usually I devoured my time to get rid of
all the affairs
however I could not perform it
and now when I depleted all my babyhood
you described me that It was not my choice
it was you behind, assigning me
all the jobs
with a liability to perform it
Oh God...
Author notes
Prompt...
"There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone." D. Winnicott
In a list
A contest entry
- enter frequently or once around quote by Bams.
800 points, ended May 13, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Beauty of Work by LilyAngel.
300 points, ended September 19, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Yes, I can see it, for a baby alone, cannot exist...this is excellent
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Good way of putting things
enjoyed the read...mac
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This is a very clever and cute piece and the photo really adds to that feeling of childish wonder and amazement at the world. I love how children have endless pursuits and games! Than when they become adults they are forced into and its not so fun.
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very good thought. there is good flow. the response to the prompt is interesting. i found the line 'you "described" me that i was alone' a bit confusing. perhaps a little bit rephrasing could help. it does not make much sense as such - but if u have some explanation for this line, you are welcome to provide it.
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Truly we are never alone and how our vision, even of the 'distant past' can be transformed.
Suggestion, if I may:
'you described me that I was not alone'
you described me, I was not alone -or...
you described to me that I was not alone.
Congratulations to you and well deserved.
Sol
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Congratulations on winning the bronze! Well deserved. Peace, Rhonda
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brightening surprise
ah, an image with notation's ton of thought that truthfully relates if left by mother and father God can take us up... though our effort isn't always invention
but with launching inclination given start to stay with, since we can teach of ourselves since young and so thus with lettered higher thoughts to wonder on...
I am taken back to once when my daughter didn't join me in a room but was sat down on bottom of stairs at two; audibly adjacent she 'stood' with our day still of having gone around analyzing passaged love in pitch and physical pace for scope of understanding it not just memorizing and right then that was her vocalized focus of returned patience.
but you bespeak of a bigger picture of presence to be comprehended and searched for indeed even by little ones. we aren't suddenly spiritual in need but made so by our creator. and influence can allign us to more than each or any goal.
childhood not given elegant aim of life and ultimate bonding, can feel faltering on own as "usually I devoured my time to get rid of
all the affairs
however I could not perform it" but there is admission we have obligation to work with our hands and energy but not for show of dismissing --
you imbued the due with thoroughness not only for lightening speed samples but enlightening, for results to equal anything or know where contribution is heading.
I thought I'd celebrate efficiency more than self with an upbringing to approach task of design, and for layered emphasis as to think over another simultaneously :
http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q97/photopoverty/ferment062.jpg
thanks for the important outlook you entered with,
babies are my subject -
Such a sweet picture, and your poem is a perfect compliment to it. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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this is wonderful. i like it a lot. it is very touching
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Oh My~~
Another Wonderful piece You have versed and could feel the energy also gentleness of Your words
Magnificent!!
Keep that quill dancing my Friend!
usually I devoured my time to get rid of
all the affairs
however I could not perform it
These lines tugged at the Heartstrings~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Your poems all seem to have such a strong beginning, middle and end. Often quite thought provoking. Well done.
"...it was you behind assigning me
all the activities
with a liability to perform it..."
Yes, we must continue to remind ourselves that "It's all God"
Paul
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I love the two lines: " and now when I depleted all my babyhood, you described me that I was not alone..." very comforting that...Best of luck in the contest. Peace always, Rhonda
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What a lovely, gentle write that shows that wonder can come into our lives at any time... Well done!
Ken
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excellent
Great work, once again, and a very cute picture that speaks with it.
it was you behind assigning me
all the activities
with a liability to perform it
...what a revelation! congrats and best regards
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Such a beautiful picture
This did have that life element to it..also I felt your heart speaking, well done my friend
and good luck in the contest you have it in
Cindy
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