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Pink Hippo's Fly

Perhaps I should have never tried, Where is this place.
I don't like it here there is no space.
No one's here just a single chair with something there.
Keep away don't come near I want out of here.

How did I get here why did I try it in the first place.
I want my mommy I want to see her stern face.
Pleace let me out i'll behave and keep away.
Please let me go back to that safe place.
Only now everything begins to fade away.
Surely I'm not going away. Wow I see pink hippos fly just like me but then they just fade away.

Forgive me mom I didn't think it'd end like this not this way.
Looks like i'll miss you turning 36.
You were the best mom ever but nothing you could've done would have kept me away from the peer pressure.

A contest entry

its no good but im having writers block

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Decorus Somnium
    April 25, 2008

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    You may had writers block, but this seems good to me. Sad, deep and nice. Just one thing: you wrote Pleace instead of Please. That's all
    Great job


  • hollowriver
    April 24, 2008

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    i'll be honest....i clicked on this poem because of the title

    its so raw and emotionsl
    its a nice read

    only thing some lines could have used comma's so it will flow better

    ether way theres no dening your talanted


  • buffsab99
    April 22, 2008

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    Emotional

    So emotional. You have so much talent my young friend. Keep up the great work

  • carole21
    April 22, 2008

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    sad

    sad but sensitive write on making mistakes . . liked "Perhaps I should have never tried" and "Looks like i'll miss you turning 36" . . peer pressure is difficult especially away from home . . well done


  • Semper-Fi Juggalette
    April 22, 2008
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    i like it good write ^^


  • Ace13
    April 22, 2008

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    Well this is really good.

    Hey so your poems are like codes, well is this suppose to be you after you OD or something? that's what i got out of it. Well anyways, yes it is depressing.


    • Erozay
      April 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      never

      nope never done drugs its about someone who didnt listen and tried it for the first time and died

1 - 7 of 7