There is a beautiful forest in my mind.
It is full of green trees and wild flowers.
The forest does not remain beautiful for long.
Soldiers and tanks enter and airplanes throw napalm bombs.
My beautiful forest burns for days.
I know the math of the train and the platform.
In my mind it is interesting to perform.
But when the train comes I fall on the railway.
And the cruel train kills me.
My deadbody remains in the empty railway for days.
Author notes
Napalm is a kind of a bomb.
A contest entry
- Depression by Exodus.
525 points, ended May 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I definitely got depressed by the end of this one, my friend...The title gave me one idea and the second stanza dropped me right over the edge of the cliff, or rather the railway platform...Time to let go the clouds in the mind and grab hold of the perfume of each moment. ...Be well and blessed my newly-wed friend...Peace, Rhonda


-
-
Thank you for your comment.
-
-
I'm not too sure about each line being a sentence, I think it would flow better if it wasn't so limited, but other than that this had some really wonderful imagery, very intense work

Thank you -
i love u baby


-
-
I love you my darling wife Mrs. Hafsa Samee.
-
1 - 5 of 5



