You write of me
and I recoil,
not recognizing the
twisted, sour soul
of your acquaintance.
You lay blame
like crackling concrete,
plastering the holes
of your indifference,
taking savage pleasure
in my confusion.
I lived those lies
wrapped in protective agony;
marking time with
splintered fingernails scratching
crosses on my forehead,
sipping kerosene to dissolve
the sludge of disloyalty.
Are you my brother,
a solitary misanthrope,
turning our past
into Oprah’s parade?
Claiming redemption through
pages suffused with cynicism,
you deem fiction unworthy
yet beg forgiveness,
courting anonymous adulation,
by offering me up
on the altar of
your Pulitzer Prize.
My startlement complete,
I reach to touch
the holographic hostage
who pastes gritty glitter
on the pages
of my yesterdays.
Author notes
CitrineSunrise
1) LINE LIMIT - 30-40 lines
2) WORD LIMIT
3-4 in each sentence.
3) Theme- Dark
4) Prompt: Artistic distortions
5) The title of your poem
should be ONE word only.
6) You should use these words.
All 5 of them.
Startlement
Misanthrope
Twisted
Savage
Kerosene
This poem was inspired by the popularity of tragic autobiographies and memoirs that have recently become popular.
A contest entry
- THE PROMPT CHALLENGE # 5 ( Finale) by phoenixonfire.
1800 points, ended April 28, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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well done and congrats on the bronze so many emotions reign in this and gives me the feelings of paparazzi and glamorous hardships of life. many blessings always xxx
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oooohhhhhhh, this is aweosme, amazing write and congrats on bronze
take care
stephanie
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Great write, full of the abstract metaphor and details. So very well done. Love, C
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FAB!!!
Fantastic write!! I am actually so breathless by reading ur refrences and oh! So wonderful wording!!! I think this was ur best shot! U really went beyond the prompt and used all of the words very creatively!! BRAVO!!!!!!
UR SCORES
Content(10)- 8
Expression(10)- 9
Flow(5)- 4.5
Vocabulary(5)- 4
Uniqueness(10)- 9.5
Overall Impact(10)-9
TOTAL SCORE- 44/50
That is really good u know!!!!
All the best!!!
love n peace
pri
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First off, you have done some marvelous things with the language. Your vocabulary, including the contest required words, have been woven here to create a tone so perfect for the subject at hand. Your speaker carries some pretty heavy emotions, both from the hardships of his past, and also from having them publicly exposed by one who should have been more sensitive; you use coarse sounding words together in unexpected combinations that cause the reader feel a tension not unlike the speaker's. Skillfully done!
Your opening stanzas--two very strong images for the reader's imagination.
Your punctuation and line breaks are immaculate and very much add to the clarity, flow, and understanding of the piece, and you have adhered to the contest theme and prompt in a marvelously creative way.
Over all an excellent poem with a great tone and depth of heart! All the best in the contest!
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I enjoy losing myself in stories, pretending to be someone else. I have often wondered how a person might feel to find herself portrayed in a book, warts and all - especially if the warts were added by the author. Your critiques are always so complete. I treasure them.
Liz
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