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dismal smile



a conscious decision of affliction.

denial,
remains in the posterior.

there is no truth.

grin,
go back to sleep.

remembrance is now inconsequential.

awaken,
no one is here.

a repetitious notion.

torment,
a dismal smile.

energetic and dejected.



A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • celadia gold member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    I actually interpreted this as a gay man calling in sick for work and wondering where his boy friend went. Am I right? It is quite good however you interpret it.


  • Deathless1
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    i think every one that has commented on this one, is a girl, that is weird. you might be the lady's man.lol

  • Cinnarry gold member
    May 12
    Edit | Reply
    poetry.


  • x x always his x x
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck in the contest. I like your style of writing its seems fresh and free


  • Jalalbad gold member
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    great write, good luck in contest


  • Bittie
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    very nice choice of words. I liked it. keep it up.


  • Serenzia
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, it relates to a situation i faced a week ago or something: was asleep then i woke up suddenly on a dream that had me feeling exactly the same as your peom. keep it up

    • joeybueno gold member
      May 7
      Edit | Reply

      hey

      thanks for the kind words. I havent been writing for that long, so your positive feed back means a lot. Hows life in Egypt?

      • Serenzia
        May 7

        Edit | Reply
        Well your very creative, I admire your style very much. Egypt's great, it's almost summer now and we're already burning, you know the desert-like weather... How is it in Texas?

  • Deathless1
    May 7
    Edit | Reply
    love the last line, that is how i feel every day.
    this is truely deep, beautiful.
    any one that says different is a poopie head.
    great write,
    KNIGHT TIME


  • Tender wolf gold member
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    WAWZZZZZZZA!

    Rejected...denial...no reason to remember for you are alone, a dismal smile and yet dejected...pulls at the heart strings softly...niaish for sharing with me


  • lekha
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    very different & intersting.......
    best of luck in the contest.

    lekha


  • Nico
    April 25
    Edit | Reply

    DAKOTA:

    this is really good. very deep, thrusting into thoughts!
    ~benji nichole~


  • brooklynngirl gold member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply

    Lotsa big words

    I like this poem a lot, even if i really had to think to figure it out. But that's ok, I like the fact you made me think. Good job!


  • jamiedoring gold member
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write indeed....Great wording....inspiration to ponder. Good luck in the contest.


  • Flutterby--x
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Such rich language!


    Very good!

    Thank you very much for entering

    x

    • joeybueno gold member
      April 23
      Edit | Reply

      hey

      Thanks for youre feedback. Ive done a spell check, and it shows I have no errors. Which part of the piece is mispelled?
1 - 17 of 17