laggard movements and thoughts linger.
happiness,
I don't quite remember.
distortion, feedback, and delusion.
fake smile,
you are habitual.
exertion of body is the remedy.
close the door,
my mind is astray.
delicate and sentient.
please,
lower your voice.
dedication to this anguish.
A contest entry
- Depression by Exodus.
525 points, ended May 6, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I clicked on this because of the Spanish title and as I read the first few lines, I thought "this is the perfect description of depression" and then I scrolled down and saw the contest title--Depression. Very well done. Conveys much in few words.
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nice ending line. and the stanza before it. nicely done.
Salt -
WOW!
SIMPLY AMAZING! The words are not alot! The poem, however, is a load of emotions and sensation! I really like your style of writing...It's the little details that ALWAYS count!...and yet again i RELATE!
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PAINFUL
Your words carry a haunting feeling about them...being dedicated to ones on anguish.Exertion of the body the only remedy yet closes the door to keep all pains safely inside...powerful words my friend and thank you for sharing
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It's got something about it that reminds me of a quite a few songs by Seether, while at the same time remaining totally unique. I loved the rhythm, beautifully done.
Thank you
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fuckin' beautiful...
amazing! would you let me take this one into contrast for myself & let me ponder within it? this poem gives me strange feelings, but i really liked it.
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