A tang of jealousy,
a teaspoon of sadness,
a dash of emptiness,
and you'll have my heart.
Black as coal,
cold as ice,
more bitter than sweet,
and I'm falling apart.
The cold that washes over me,
the pain that blinds me,
the answers that escape me,
still running away from this life.
How long did it take?,
to run,
to stand still in one spot,
not to fear everyday.
To breathe,
to live,
to smile a little more,
enjoy life in every way.
The past is not my answer,
nor is it the key,
my future is the prospect,
once hidden deep from me.
The pain I once withdrew from,
the answer I never knew,
look straight ahead throughout the game,
and you'll find your pulling through.
My past depicted my future once,
laying hand in hand,
now each has its own,
I can lay the first to rest.
Author notes
You learn life as you go, this I learned was true, I hated it when people tell me what hurts you makes you stronger. I didn't believe my past makes me stronger, but I've learned not to dwell on my past...in turn it almost became my future.
A contest entry
- We Hold These Truths. by CountryCousin.
900 points, ended May 5, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sweetie, This Is What Broken Looks Like. by Heartbeatsxfading.
600 points, ended May 20, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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The opening two lines really intrigued me and made me want to read more... And I just loved the way you finished this... Beautiful piece of writing, best of luck in the contest.
- Jojo x sinnocence -
this is just beautiful the way its written with such a careing and gentle nature and truth within your words
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Interesting.
This is very interesting because many times we do look back to the past and we would hope that we could learn from it. One thing that is said though that those who do not learn from history often repeat it. -
This is a wonderful write!
Wonderfully done, poet
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the theme of the work is very well portrayed ... this easily could have been very preachy but you pulled it off because of your honesty. your truth comes from your gut, not from your mind. thanks.
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Such a strong piece and I really like the imagery that you have used for this. Your first stanza "A tang of jealousy,a teaspoon of sadness,a dash of emptiness,and you'll have my heart." Is very creative. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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Excellent piece! I feel the sadness of the past.. yet the strength to continue forward. I totally agree with your authors notes too... I don't think you need a hard past to make you strong... but by default it can often make us more empathetic and we have to learn not to dwell on it.
I relate deeply to this piece. Love it!
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this is really good. i like the part
The cold that washes over me,
the pain that blinds me,
the answers that escape me,
still running away from this life.
the flow was amazing.=] great write
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I like that little recipe for winning your heart to be followed with the assessment of "your" life. Oh, I can identify with that line "the answers that escape me." I also like the push-pull of "to run/to stand still in one spot." The end of stanza 2 - excellent understanding of how to face pain in order to get the answers you need.
I like that last little stanza - "laying hand in hand" almost like a relay race and passing the baton.
Very nice write about coming to terms with yourself and life.
Marlene
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