If quickened my gaze could not reveal
a brown skeletal leaf trapped in snow crust,
an object of no obvious appeal,
its translucent flush lost to winter's rust.
But slowed, I discerned the intricate grace
decay had brought to what once was lush
and admired the weather toughened lace
in harmony with the seasonal hush.
Aware resilience alone had maintained
intact exquisite design to define
upon the snow the last leaf that remained,
I contemplated its comely decline.
My regard heightened for things that endure;
by noting what single phase might obscure?
Author notes
this poem is a metaphor about aging. The different ways ones views the world as one moves along. IT ENDS WITH A QUESTION AS MOST THOUGHTS DO WHEN WE GROW OLD ENOUGH.
A contest entry
- metaphors by james119.
625 points, ended May 1, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Jeff's first year by cricketjeff.
4620 points, ended October 5, 75 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
First impressions, line breaks, improvements?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Lovely metaphorical sonnet and a very pleasant read, as most around here know I am a fan of sonnets
Thanks for a second very strong entry.
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I know your expert treatment of the sonnet. Your's are always worth study.
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waking up here...
I see I have really missed the mark in my reading the poem and not the author's notes. (too late a night maybe) My appologies dear writer. My new understanding gives me a sense of great respect for this work. Thank you for entering. -
Great
You did a good job at writing this. It's a very good write. You have a nice day now, and you have a wonderful day of writing. -
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Hi, thanks for your comment. I'm wondering
did you recognize this poem as a metaphor about aging? If you didn't and you read it now does it become clear? thank you for your time.
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at a loss here
I am wondering now whether the title of this contest made it clear that I want metaphors, or it should have been specified in the rules.
Thinking....
I do enjoy this lovely description of a familiar, but often ignored piece of nature.
I am really struck by thoughtful reflection in this verse:
But slowed, I discerned the intricate grace
decay had brought to what once was lush
and admired the weather toughened lace
in harmony with the seasonal hush.
I'll get back to this one
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Hi James 119. The poem itself is a metaphore
for learning to appreciate a more profound aspect of aging. The metaphore is encased as the counter theme in this piece. In our culture we fear aging yet the slowness, lines and wrinkles, sagging skin,ect., may encase a beauitful inner transformation. Finally, with glass encased eyes, we can see byond the immediate time encased present through a lense of history and compassion. This is an advantage unavilable to the young. If read in this light, I think you will see, metaphores abound.
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