Hidden in the mist,
frost lies gently on the pond,
dancing leaves held firm.
Author notes
Written December 14th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- haikus by .
300 points, ended April 15, 2004, 46 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Sounds chilly Andrew But a beautiful picture!!!
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this is a great capture of a few images, mist, pond, leaves and they tie to a scene nicely....PK
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Beauitful imagery. You did an excellent job. Haiku is one of my favorite forms. Congulations on the gold trophy
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Excellent!
Wow! This is good. I like the imagery you have presented here. L1 and L2 go very well together and create a gentle image of hidden frost that seems to be almost asleep on the pond. L3 is a powerful; a very strong image that tightens the grip on L1 and L2. Actually, if I may say so, it makes it a little too tight and rigid, I feel. The stillness is so tight in L3. It gives the image that the pond is permanently frozen and the leaves that once danced to and fro happily, are now frozen till eternity. I like the resonance in this well captured moment haiku.
Best Wishes,
Charishma -
I like this. On first read I got the image of a frozen moment. Something haunting that is lurking in the mist and the plants and animals still themselves because they can sense it's prescence...Then second read I thought of a sunrise. How everything seems to still for that second when the sun peaks.
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Congrats Hide, with all these entries, I don't know how Monk was able to judge them all, but I can see why he liked this one. It definitely puts the kind of vision in my head that you were trying to get across.
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ah ah ah ah ah............ haiku
sniff
Tissue anyone?
Well done Mr Hide
& Merry Christmas
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You have made it passed the first round. Good luck.....
Don -
This conjures up a beautiful image before my eyes. Good luck in the contest.
krishna -
this was pretty...frozen leaves on the surface of the lake. the meter is perfect too. good luck in the contest
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LoL, dancing leaves held firm
and the winter snows have already begun
great haiku piece of work!
happy Honika!!
Tamara -
this is clear.... a good entry to the contest...... no corrections suggested...... nice work!!!! Best of luck!
Don -
very lovely
I'm not much of a haiku afficianado, but I like this very much. Wish I could give enlightened commentary on this form, but I am unable. I can only speak to my reactions to the "voice" and "theme" of this...and, in that regard, I found this a wonderful polaroid photo of winter. Thanks so much for sharing this.
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