I stroll amongst these streets alone
Lonely
No one hears
My cries of which
I gather
So
The fear
Of which
I carry
The longing cry
Of which
To whom
I know
Will not decipher
Lost in this world
Of that
I know
Not
I see what I am blinded to
I find the path
Of vacant truth
Beyond the realm
Of my voice
My reach
There
A lonely tomb
Rest
In
Peace
Author notes
to get the flow, you kind of have to read it quickly
my stanzas resemble scentences
depression opt
A contest entry
- hollow or what?? by onapedestalIstand.
300 points, ended April 22, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm in the mood for ANYTHING! by ForeverLastingComa.
550 points, ended April 25, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (= Prewrites!!!!! ENTER NOW!!!!!!!!! =) by xCandieKissesx.
525 points, ended May 19, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dark....sad...make me CRY!!! by Emotional-wreck.
420 points, ended May 24, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite only by kitty23.
470 points, ended June 6, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any lines your hated.. maybe liked??
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
im confused O.o
-
hmm... it's extreamly beautiful, but it didn't seem to flow right. It was almost choppy. Saying that, it was still good and I liked it alot!
Best of luck in the contest! -
-
yup. the flow is kinda funny. you just gotta kind be able to read it fast i guess.. idk but thanks for the comment
-
-
see what I am blinded to
I find the path
Of vacant truth
Beyond the realm
Of my voice
My reach
great write...good luck -
Hmm, very interesting and beautifully written. I love the style of the text and the flow of it. The last stanza sealed the deal for me. Thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest!
+ Jackie -
Interesting, have you ever seen those shows that read poetry and they read their poetry so fast but with feeling this poem reminds me of those. I enjoyed reading this poem a lot the only thing that got to me was the format of it, the 1st line was longer than all the others..kinda hurt my eyes..but i do like it a lot =D..good luck in my contest =)
-
this is the most correct work i have had so far thank you for actually going by my rules...bye the way this is a great work so you have made the finals..not only are you the first this could be your advantage seeing that i'm only choosing one for the winner!! GOODLUCK!!=} kitty24
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
