Don’t leave her alone at night
For her thoughts will wander far
Don’t ignore her out of spite
Or she’ll wonder where you are
For her thoughts will wander far
She may think that you’ve been hurt
Or she’ll wonder where you are
As her thoughts of you invert
She may think that you’ve been hurt
Or think you have run away
As her thoughts of you invert
She may think you’ve gone astray
Or think you have run away
That you’ve found another girl
She may think you’ve gone astray
And you’re not her only pearl
That you’ve found another girl
‘Tis certain to cross her mind
And you’re not her only pearl
For she knows that love is blind
‘Tis certain to cross her mind
Don’t ignore her out of spite
For she knows that love is blind
Don’t leave her alone at night
Author notes
Pantoum Poetry
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The design is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
A contest entry
- In process of judging. by Viva La Vie Boheme.
700 points, ended June 10, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments:
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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You speak volumes of the dangers of taking the one you love for granted!!! And the perfect form to drive the point home as it seems to echo the compulsive worrying!!! I din't care what the nay-sayers think, form poetry is beautiful when done well! And you always do it well!!!
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Girl!!! You completely ROCKED this form! I was so competely enchanted by this poem that I had to go back and read it a few times, amazed at your perfect style!
I love how you are able to write in a strict form, and at the same time write about valid and engaging subjects. How do you do that so well????
You are a natural-born poet. You are definitely a master (or mistress) of your craft. No, queen of your craft!
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Wow!!
I have only done a few Pantoums...
and Love the message You have weaved in this piece~
Magnificent!!
You pen this with ease~
rolls off the quill's tip...
Or think you have run away
That you’ve found another girl
She may think you’ve gone astray
And you’re not her only pearl
These lines grab~~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Well done, great poem
Dont stop writing
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Pantoum, wow looks intense sort of lol, but you pulled it off very well the repeating lines do indeed work and it flows nicely, felt poetic
Good luck in the contest
Cin
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Sad, melancholic poem that makes good use of the pantoum's repeating lines. I expect gold.
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I read last night but left comment until this morning intending to pantoum back to you, but my muse is still asleep. So I shall settle for
Well done again, the form mistress at her best.
Great work as usual.
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*sob, sob, sob* I loved this. This does happens to me! I feel rejected at the drop of a hat. this was done really nice! I also love the Rhyme scheme, and thank you for the explanation of it in the notes, I have bookmarked this so that I can try it... You really are a inspiration!
Love
Becks
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Excellent
Brilliant Pantoum
BRAVO my sweet soul.
You kept me locked in to this poem from beginning to end.
You words not only speaks volumes but are profoundly true as well. The mind will work in misterious ways and will wander insanely if given the chance.
Been there and done that
Much love
Wish you the best in the contest!
*hug8
David
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This is a beauty Amera. It''s not only a wonderful rhyme but reflects the angst of wonder, the tenuous thoughts...
Paul
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Excellent poetry...... the rhythm and rhyme is absolutely flawless. Very well done and best wishes in the contest.
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I'm all ears and a good bit more! LOL! Great Pantoum Amera! You are the Prima Donna Poetess.
Love and peace always,
mj.
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Indeed this speaks to me..EXACTLY the way I feel..Am I the only pearl??Or are there more of you out there? Life is so damn pathetic. This was precious, and thoughts that many can relate to.
Best wishes in the contest
Passions
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Would you mind telling me where this one was several years ago? My ex really needed to see this one! He was quite good at it really. In fact soooooo good at it, he knocked up the babysitter
Oh well such as life..
As usual sis, you did more than a remarkable job on this one!
Best of luck in this contest!!
and love
Nyetta
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"Simple" is not the word I would use to describe this form. I really love the poem, Amera. The last stanza is my favorite.
Love,
Tay
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