Galloping on towards the prison tower;
I arrived just after the noon day hour.
Scouting around the massive stone base;
I searched for a door and found not a trace.
Then, high up above in yon window there,
I caught sight of the fair maiden's hair;
The sun highlights her long golden tresses.
My manhood stirs and my mind digresses.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel", from below I shout.
"I, Sir William, have come to get you out."
"Your legendary beauty is exquisite.
Lower your hair and I will climb up it."
Blonde tresses cascaded down the stone wall,
Carefully I climbed, so I do not fall.
Halfway up the parapet, I loudly said,
"I sure hope this does not hurt your head."
Ears straining, I heard not a word in reply
(Soon I would discover the reason why).
Parting soft hair that shone like pure brass
I was face to face with a horses ass.
There was a note tacked upon the window sill.
In flowing hand, it read: Dearest Bill,
Sir Lancelot has arrived first, of course.
Be a good soul, and please water his horse.
Author notes
Prompt #3. This poem was tinkered with on 08/06/08
In a list
A contest entry
- BIG POINTS….Tons of Options (Fresh Writes Only) by jamiedoring.
2750 points, ended April 30, 2008, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite only by kitty23.
470 points, ended June 6, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fairy tales and Fantasies! by Doll Faise.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by piccola.
800 points, ended August 15, 2008, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Once Upon a Midnight, Cold and Dreary... by Carpe Noctem.
400 points, ended March 16, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 39 of 39
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Amazing poem! Packs a wallop of humor in the last lines. Very fun to read. Good luck in the contest!
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Thanks it is one of my early ones, but I have always enjoyed it. I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Mike
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Ears straining, I heard not a word in reply
(Soon I would discover the reason why).
Parting soft hair that shone like pure brass
I was face to face with a horses ass.
There was a note tacked upon the window sill.
In flowing hand, it read: Dearest Bill,
Sir Lancelot has arrived first, of course.
Be a good soul, and please water his horse.
what a sad story is this. If she were kind and good she could have donated her hair to needy cancer victims. They need wigs. Alas she is selfish. thank you for the entry. -
I about fell off my chair with laughter when I read the last verse good write!
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it too. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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So funny. I enjoyed this write.
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Thank you. It was an early write of mine. I went back and polished it up today. I am glad you enjoyed it.
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Very funny ending, not one that I was expecting. The rhyme was written well, and I didn't lose interest. Good luck.
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hAhAhA!!.. wOw!!DiS hAd Me LaUgHiN soO hArD!!i LuV dA tWiSt At Da EnD!!dIs IS sOO bEttEr DeN dA rEaL sToRy!!..
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I had fun with it and wanted to have a surprise ending.
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N iT dId HaV a SuRpRiSe EnDiN i WaSnT eXpEcTiN dAt!!...
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Love the twist....congratulations on the well-deserved silver!
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Like you, I have only been doing this seriously since January.
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Awesome....
Total crack up ending. Fantastic flow, rhyme and wording.
Thank you for entering such an enjoyable piece into my contest.
This cleverly written twisted tale made for a fantastic read. :P
LOVED it!
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Thank you very much. The silver is much appreciated. I could see that your contest had many good poets. I didnt expect the win, but I could not resist the prompt.
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HAHAHAHA.....
Best way to start my day with a great belly laugh!
Best of luck in the contest
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I am glad you got a kick out of it. I have fun with some of these and always hope people will have fun reading them.
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Ah, this gave me a chuckle. Nice job here! I enjoyed this read very much. Love your sense of humor.
(One minor change would be where you wrote, "You lengendary beauty is so exquisite . . . " should be "Your" instead of "You." 3rd stanza, 3rd line.)
Otherwise was a very pleasant journey. Pen on. And best to you in the contest!
Kelly
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. I am glad you enjoyed it. I really appreciate that you picked up on the typo. I think my computer is infested with a typo virus. No matter how hard I try, they still crop up. Thanks for pointing it out.
Mike
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Wow - are you a humorous write or what? I absolutely adored this, not just funny, but very well written as well. Thanks for the smiles!
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I have my moments. My motto is if you can't turn them on, at least leave them smiling. I appreciate you reading my poems and commenting. I dont think this is the last of the fractured fairy tales you will see.
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Clever clever clever...wow this is so damn good, well thought out and so very well penned Bravo
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Shhhhhh don't tell anyone. When I decide to write, an image pops into my head, most of the poems are written in an hour.
Oops, I am sure on some of them it shows. Thanks for reading my dear friend.
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Awww, poor sir Bill, well this fair maiden is still waiting for her knight in shining armor. i enjoyed this story.
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I can relate to Bill's circumstances as if they were my own at different times. HeHe. My armor is rusty and dented but I keep trying. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Well done. Hilarious and creative. I absolutely loved it.
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I am glad you enjoyed this poem. I try to write things that interest me or that I find amusing. But I also write so others will understand it or find it funny. Thank you for commenting.
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I greatly enjoyed your piece, it was an absolute pleasure to read. The twist at the end was so perfect. Good luck in this contest.
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Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed the write. Positive feed back is always welcome. I did a previous one about the three little pigs and had fun with it so I gave another try at the same genre.
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Very funny!
I like this version the best. Funny, Yet erotic. Just when you thought you would be making love to her, Not only did Lancelot get the girl, But you're left watering the horse. -
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This cold be autobiographical, but I would hate to put a name on the mare in the tower.
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lmao good guys always finish last. Well done
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Yay, That means i will come in first for once.
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A poem with comedy in it, yay. I really liked it, it has nice rhyme, a complete story and just..yay. Great job.
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I am glad you liked it. I had fun writing it. and giving it a surprise ending.
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lol.
i loved it!
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I am glad you liked it. I have fun with these. Check out the one about the three little pigs if you like. Thanks for your comments and applause.
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da da daaaaa.... there's your shocker I enjoyed it
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I am glad you enjoyed it. It is about the sort of luck that I have.
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