The black tracks left by her mascara tears
Could not be seen for the ghastly bruise
Each day and night she dealt with fears
While telling others it was just a ruse
It went on like this for ages
A new mark on the porcelain cheek
The doors now felt like cages
And she always felt so weak
But then one day she made her decision
She will be the weak one no longer
She planned the attack with expert precision
And with these thoughts she grew much stronger
So he came in and shut the door
With a snap that only she heard
Belligerent, he screamed for his "whore"
She slowly appeared, with not a word
He raised his hand to smite
But her hand was faster
And the bullet struck with a bite
Smiting down the "master"
He slumped to the ground
And the gun she soon drops
Neither soul makes a sound
Until she calls the cops
Into custody she is taken
With not a struggle to see
But liberty isn't forsaken
She is finally free
Author notes
Option 8
A contest entry
- BIG POINTS….Tons of Options (Fresh Writes Only) by jamiedoring.
2750 points, ended April 30, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Yes, what's the point in a so called freedom, if you have become enslaved within yourself and live in fear of others. Great: write, description and rhyming. It leaves me feeling hope that her freedom from custody follows swiftly to complete and enable expression of her inner one.
Sol
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Excellent rhythem throughout, slight detour of rhythem but its overlooked by the wording at that point. I think its a cracking write. The ue of language, description, its fantastic. Good use of feeling and imagery.
"But liberty isn't forsaken
She is finally free "
I love that last pair of lines. Great work!
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AWESOME TITLE
Seriously...the title is PERFECT.....
This is a fantastic write and thank you for entering it into my contest. The rhyme and flow is terrific and the ending is strong. Excellent!!
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I like the oxymoron for the title. a clever piece of work. Excellent job.
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Very nice
It was all amazing!
I loved it. -
Loved it. Great job with the prompt!!
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