Silently she wandered,through
tall dry grass oblivious of time
as each golden blade caressed
her naked form with a passion
that I could but hope to favor
Each step she took was dream
a delight, as the cool wind
curled it's senual hand parting
her thighs with each step
to gently smooth her scented Pubescent hair
Blades of grass thrived to reach
between her pubertal pink lips
whose moistness glowed like morning dew
on a summers day, each droplet waiting as
they were like nector on a flower
so succulant, so sweet.
oh to taste with my own lips and
I to would grow to my full size and
there be ready and able to bloom
spreading me seed as I may.
Terry
A contest entry
- The Knowledge Of Eve by Glasyalabolas.
800 points, ended May 12, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comp
Comments
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I love the use of nature in this piece, it frames the description of her beauty and the desire that it causes to enflame. Very clever and well written.
Good write.
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A lovely sensuous and sensitive poem. It could do with a little touching up (pardon the pun!)
example:
'each step she took was a dream
of delight as the cool wind
curled to part her thighs and
gently smooth her scented pubescence.'
also:
'each droplet spilling nectar from her flowered succulence, so sweet.'
hope you don't mind me offering a little constructive criticism but it's such a lovely poem, just thought it would help the flow.
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WOW...you ask for my first impression, you have just had it. A beautiful and sensual poem that is a delight to the senses. Your imagery is soft, gentle but with an urgency that reaches it's peak in the closing lines.
All the best in the contest...Sue
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Thank you Sue
Hey Sue, many thanks for your wonderful feedback and for taking the time to read this little piece of work. I am always flattered when you read my stuff because compliments from such a great writer as yourself are worth so much more to me.
terry
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