I can feel it on my skin
-In my blood.
In the eyes of those I love.
In the passer on the street
[When I need to get away]
And I only have my feet.
And you stare for just a minute
Right before your eyes avert
I can feel it in your gaze
I am living - breathing
Dirt.
And my family's broken up
So we sleep in empty cars
Long sleeves don't do us any good
It's our eyes
That hold the scars.
And I hold on to my brother
As we look up at the stars...
(We've got no food again.
And I'm worried that he'll starve.)
I can see it in your eyes,
And I feel it on my skin,
I am worthless in this world
Where I just can't seem to win.
And I taste it in your words
[Buried deep beneath the hurt]
You're judging me- my life
And you can't see past
The Dirt.
Author notes
I used to feel this way all the time.
(Before foster care.)
People judge you when you're poor.
Even if its not your fault.
Even if you're just a kid.
A contest entry
- Trauma Kids by Danneh.
575 points, ended May 3, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let Me Know
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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I cant seem to stop reading your writing its all inspirational an a sense that it lifts your spirits when you realize that a kid the same age as you( im sixteen too) can go through all this and still keep going. The way you write shows years of expierience beyond your own and i hope you keep going with it your whole life. Best of Luck
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wow.well written
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this is beautiful.
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Reminds me of when I was younger. I am the 4th of 6 and my Dad was in the Navy. Not much to live off for sure.
With your words you tell a story with an underlying emotion. Interesting style. Sometimes when I write I have nothing but emotion. I have been deemed an emotional spigot. *shrugs* I am what I am and I'll be what I'll be.
Thanks for sharing.
Yink
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I'm the 3rd of 6.
Way to go big families. =)
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so this is amazing i feel i need to tell you
but im sure you already
know that judging by the gold -
holy shit mia
this was AMAZING!!!
"
And you stare for just a minute
Right before your eyes avert
I can feel it in your gaze
I am living - breathing
Dirt."
that made me shiver
you are amazing mia
dont ever think different
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wow this one of the best poems i have ever read!! you have great talents!!!!
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I agree with danneh, the user 'lefthanded' needs a right good kicking. obviously never been through anything like that otherwise they wouldnt have said that bollox.
Anyway, really wel done and well worth its weight in gold. you did well. (have some happy clappy guys)
hugs
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The person below me, needs to be smacked. Simply because it's people like that who fucked me up, and worsen people everyday. They only add to the dirt feeling.
-sighs-
Great poem. I see no obvious need to fixes, no typos or the such. Your style is good and the message.. Fantastic. And it's only too true. People do judge you for being poor. EVERYONE. Some of us don't mean to, and some of us not in bad way. But I'll admit this, if I think someone's worse off- I extend my hand to help farther than I do for others. I'm kinder, even when they're horrible to me. Everyone judges, not always in a bad way though. -
not bad but too hippy
have you read the book THE EYE OF THE EVERLASTING ANGEL? please do and it is not all people who judge poor folks. stop feelin pity for yourself and let us see what you got coz, hey i think you are a better writer. this is way too easy for you -
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Whoa.
You don't know anything about me.
I don't EVER pity myself.
Ever.
If you want to critique my writing, that's fine. Thank you.
But you don't know anything about anything.
So stop thinking you do.
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Wow, that was so real. I loved it!!!!
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Holy shit Mia, this was just WOW. I can't even describe it.
"Where I just can't seem to win.
And I taste it in your words
[Buried deep beneath the hurt]
You're judging me- my life"
Just WOW!
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oh that sux for you but i like the poem Great Write
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iii gotss a bonerrrrrrrrr
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W O W....
OUTSTANDING!!! I totally and completely LOVED this poem!! It has so much reality and truth and "real world" substance in it. I am terribly sorry if this is true for you. I hate how most people can be. Can't see anything past image and money. They don't care to see past it and help others.
Your poem is EXCELLENT. It is beautifully written and the flow was great. But what got me the most was the emotion and the feel you get from reading it. Keep it up and don't let dumb careless people get you down. There are still good people out there who care for others and see past the image.
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this is an amazing write.
it's really sad.
but i love it.
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this was a very real peom and it gave truth to what it is like to be poor it is a very good poem and i love how it tell the truth
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WOW
this is really good, i like it. I can relate to it. very deep!
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This is an amazing write one of the best I've read. Almost made me cry and I could feel what you were going through. And people will judge you no matter what, it's just a way of life and the one's who judge needs to learn that the person they are putting down have feelings to. I hope you're better off now and things have gotten better for you. Thanks for sharing this wonderful write.
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Damn
I can't relate to this 'cause I never been that poem but it was a brilliant write. Good Job
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i fell you on this one so much more ivebeen there i am most times this poem was as art to me it was so truly beautifull i loved it -bows-
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honey people judge you even when you're not poor. people should learn to reserve their judgement because not everyone processes things the same way and has the same lifestyle/advantages.
so yeah... judgement sucks. ans the cold criticism from it can break your heart.
sorry you had to gice them ONE MORE reason to judge you.
like being unique isn't enough.
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im really sorry you ever had to feel this way.
no one as amazing as you deserves anything like that.
i love youuuuuu.
=] -
WOW
It was amazingly sad!! Ur one of the few poets who can make me cry and admit to it. Right on!! You are a really amazing poet. HIt me up on AP sometime and lets talk about it dude!! [[ later by taylor]]
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nice. it was sad, but the message was good.
"So we sleep in empty cars
Long sleeves don't do us any good
It's our eyes
That hold the scars."
those were the best line, in my opinion. great job. brilliant.
<3
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This was such a great poem. So sad though
<3 -
wow this is amazing you write poetry so well. thanks for sharing this is really beautiful
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Wow, this is brilliant. I read the first stanza and knew it would be awesome. That's pretty depressing. I hope you're a lot better off now. My favorite are the first and last stanzas. Brilliant write!
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awww i
really like this poem
it is one of the best ive read
great write!
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This is so beautiful & sure to reach out to a lot of people, it did me. I can relate to this to when I lived with my mom. What an amazing write!
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this is an amazing write, theres so so much truth behind it, i understand so much
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"Long sleeves don't do us any good
It's our eyes
That hold the scars."
These lines are devastingly powerful. It's grotesque how some people treat others less fortunate than them. I love the metaphor, as well as the literal sense, of the use Dirt. It pushes everything- lack of food, homelessness, financial situations-into one thing. Very raw.
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this amde me want to cry so bad. You have know idea how much i understand the whole judging thing. myheart aches for you. and even if one didnt understand, after reading this they defiantely will. this is amazingly well written. i love this poem. please please please keep wirtting. and never stop!!
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freakin A youre amazing I loved this and the truth behind it makes it matter... wow
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O man, Mia this is amazing!
Extremely well written
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Oh MiaBoo, this made me ache for you. I love you SO much. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you deserve less. You're wonderful.
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