We sway together you and I
and as we do my heart does sigh,
like daffodils reaching the sky
my spirit flies, my spirit flies.
At sunrise warmth stretches her wings
like a lovers soft arms it brings,
a rose that's opening in Spring
to you I cling, to you I cling.
Our love it blooms eternally
the world belongs to you and me,
just like the nectar for the bee
you are the key, you are the key.
Eternally our love will grow
like fields of flowers all aglow,
through winter's thaw this love will show
for this I know, for this I know.
Author notes
MONOTETRA FORM
In a list
A contest entry
- April Snowstorm (Form poetry only) by trista.
1000 points, ended April 27, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Yay! I'm so glad someone wrote a monotetra for the contest!
I love the musical quality this form just naturally has, and it seems well suited to both the subjects of spring and love. I do agree with Bear that a few extra commas would have been nice to slow this down just a wee bit. Also thinking you want an apostrophe in "lover's" in L6 ? Other than that, this is spot on and simply lovely. Very nice job with the rhyming. I know it's a tough form to keep from sounding forced when you need 4 words when 2 is hard enough sometimes. 
Great to see an entry from you. Thanks so much, and good luck!
Best wishes,
~J.
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Hi Gaylene~!
A wonderful Monotetra....have not seen one in quite somtime.....very nice!
Syllable count is spot-on, and your moving Imagery catches me up in your words ~
I think there are many places you could have used punctuation, (commas) to slow your Reader down, so we could absorb all of these wonderful thoughts you have penned, but after the 3rd read, I was ok with the Flow ~
....and you're right....there is nothing better than love in thre Spring :)
The best to you and this very pretty entry Hun,
....God bless you,
Bear ~
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such beauty within the way that you have represented love in your words. full to the brim with real emotions and a soft tender feel. well done gran
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I love this. The form is so perfect for the emotion of the poem. It is soft and tender, and the repetition brings a lofty lilt to the affectation. Really enjoyed this one!!
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