you always parked across
the street with tinted windows
i still can't remember your face
the image crumbles into ash
sweeping the streets
which you once drove down-
leaving a bitter taste
in my mouth
A contest entry
- Ebb by Mirthryl.
1050 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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a long since failed relationship... men are gits!! and they do and say stupid things, including parking in all the Wrong places, in more ways than one
I really like this lovely snippet of words
G.x
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It sounds as if the ashy, bitter distaste of a failed relationship is still thick in the air. Nice touch with "tinted windows," as though while waiting for your appearance he was also hoping for anonymity from passersby who might be of interest to him later. The hint of deception gives a clue to the unreliability of his character. Ashy gray backgound fits this piece well.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your entry in my contest.
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