Grown now, a man in his thirties
wedding bells and kids of his own.
He sits on his painted stage smiling
hiding stench with expensive cologne.
Phones in his office are ringing
and so are the screams in his head.
If only these people around him
saw the stains on his heart, blood red.
Lines on the floor are invisible
to everyone else except him.
Memories caged by his conscience
trapping secrets so horrid within.
The nicest guy on the planet
husband and Dad of the year.
(but that is only his day job)
at night he delivers their fear.
Demons inside make him do it
flicking switches that bring out the worst.
His wife and his children pay prices
through history told in reverse.
Family tree branched decrepit
widow makers sharpened with sins,
and from it he hangs his noose tightly
but he can’t kill the demons within.
During the day he dreams it away
(with tiny pills that help to pretend).
Then comes the night, where nothing is right….
and little boys get their revenge.
Author notes
picture prompt.
written for a contest that I would NOT have entered if not for a message received saying "write something for this and enter please... she is having trouble getting entries" .....
...So I did....and after 1 month and no read I pulled because I think thats pretty rude....I am going out of my way to explain all this I guess because the picture up there isnt something I would normally use as a prompt. lol.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this is so sad and deep and true to reality that it is scary. you have spoken for this boy very well. sorry about what happened int he contest. the host certainly missed out on a great piece of writing. viyanna rosemarie
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This is one poem that really tells a painful story. It's horrible how some people can make life so much anquish for those who love and depend on them.
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This was a really good write...reminds me off my dad...but he didnt try and kill himself just my mom and me...very well writen...
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oh crap .. lol
this made me start lookin ova my shoulder
so so great this is a novel in a poem ..one ... one little bunny .. two two little bunnies... mu wa ha ha ha threee little bunnies (that was my awful count impersionation) 
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Enjoyed this write as well.....reminds me of an old saying "The sins of the father are to be laid upon the children." I think you title is great....a sad reality too many face ...
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Thanks Jamie for sharing this powerful work. Emotional and quite a moving piece. Glad to know I am one of your fans. Thanks again.
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This is a very good poem. It is dead on the mark. You have captured the cycle of abuse incredibly well.
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I think your title is perfect. It is a vicious situation and a seemingly unbreakable cycle.
Strong write well written.
Buddy
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An excellent poem on such a tough subject! I am truly impressed with this!
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nice
Im impressed with youre knowledge of the male mind. Its also nice to hear positive words about a male by a female. We dont hear much of that anymore.
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I agree with fakeport... its "nice" to read something from a different point of view... so often I find things on here that are usually from the one being abused *including things I've written myself* You did so well with this one... I hope *although your not in the group* that you win something for this, because it is most definitely deserving of it.
Great Job once again... looks like I'm not the only one coming out with great work left, right and centre
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This is a fantastic write. The rhyme and metre were perfect, never distracting from the solemnity of the subject matter. It was nice to see a poem that dealt with abuse from the abuser's side (well not 'nice' as such, but you know what I mean). Bravo.
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Outstanding wording and images in this. Wonderful rhyme that kept it moving right along nicely.
Terrible picture, though, of the abuse cycle....your title is right on. I've heard it is a vicious cycle passed on through the generations...such a sad fact of life.
You did an amazing job with this.
best wishes in the contest.
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Wow!! When you write you paint such a vivid picture in the readers mind, it's quite amazing. Top that off with your perfect rhyming ability, and you get another one of these masterpieces. Sure hope this not only stays in the contest, but that you get a trophy. Best wishes!! Keep up the great work!!!
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Well I vote for letting you stay but I am not in the group either!!! You truly are a gifted writer and once again your rhymne and meter were flawless!! You tell an excellent story here. One that is very dark and twists the soul! Well done and best of luck in pleading your case and winning!!
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Lovely poem! The rhyme was especially nice - it never seemed forced, never appeared as if you had to sacrifice something just to keep the rhyme scheme. Descriptive words but not "pompous" sounding.
The only thing negative I can say, is well, just an OCD thing of mine, so I apologize if it's more of a personal peeve than a helpful critique: you repeated the word "scream" in consecutive stanzas. I'd suggest maybe... the "cries" in his head, or some equivalent.
I'm sorry, and beautiful poem! -
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Akila ......
Yes....it is my own peeve as well! Thanks for catching....I will be editing this bad boy immediatly! Much appreciation.
Jamie
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i loved this poem
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This is really good. Yah i am over logan..because he told me that he rather choose betty then his kid..betty is his new gf..and he is a hore
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well screw him and Betty, they're both whores.
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Wow. I was blown away by the quality of this poem.
Lines on the floor are invisible
to everyone else except him.
Memories caged by his conscience
screaming secrets so horrid within.
That was a great stanza. And the last stanza was a powerful four lines that really hit the reader hard. I'm going to have to bookmark this poem. Best one I've read in a while.
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