She was so smart
Born with an amazing charisma
An unquenchable thirst for life
So creative, so clever
With an infectious smile
A contagious laugh
And how she loved to laugh
How she loved to love
She lived like today's her last
And sung like nobody was listening,
Danced like no one was watching
Loved like she'd never been hurt before
She could write to make you cry,
Self-conscience but brilliant
Her thirst for knowledge was insatiable
And she loved to share it
She loved deeply, unconditionally
Despite her hurt and betrayal
She was lovable and unbelievable
And he loved her so...
But that's not who stares back in the mirror anymore.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You hit me straight to the heart with the last line. This is so true of life. I commend you for your honesty and showing us a side of you that is still feeling pain. That takes immense courage. You are so talented. Keep penning my friend. God Bless...
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I really like this poem! you did a wonderful job! so well written! I love how it is so beautiful, and then the last line is like..BAM! I LOVE it!
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This is a nice piece. I do agree with the previous comment, about the past and present tenses. And the last line does throw me off. I think if everything were changed to the past tense, then that last line would fit in perfectly. "She was so smart...She lived like today...She could write...she loved....But that's not who stares back". I hope that might help a little. Otherwise, a really well thought out poem, i think a lot of people can connect with it.
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I like the idea
I was a little bit confused about the last line. It seemed extremely random and not related to the poem.
You weren't consistent in your tense, in the first stanza it is in past and then you start using present for the rest of it~~you need to fix...
Hope I helped a bit
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