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Psychotic (Lunch) Break (I hope this poem doesn't ruin my rotten reputation)

Missing image

 

PERSONALS' AD:

Hi!  I am Belching Bear!
Where my name came from
I don’t care
Tho’ at my manhood it’s hard not to stare

 

I rock!  (cause my chair ain’t square)
Some say I 'ain’t even got a prayer'
But my girlfriends called me the European Hare
Spoze cuz I’m quick n’ easy & soooo debonair
(Even my Ex-wife says I'm hung like a flying mare~
Perhaps cuz my physique’s like an anchovy pear?)

So ladies, if you’re needing relief at lunch break
And need some tender loving care
Just remember, only REAL hunky men break some
Really serious air

Yes, I am Bellllllllching Bearrrrrrrrrr
I KNOW woman think my bods'  sexy!
They always say, "Wjoa!  That BB...
What an ASS!"    

 

Everyone knows why my breath ain’t fair
Old farts say it smells like frog’s hair
And yes I know this poem, like me,
Is in need of some genuinely serious
Repair

Author notes

Oh, just having a good time!
Written December 13th, 2003

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What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    November 11, 2005
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    I had a lot of fun writing this one. I read it at Ball's Cabaret in Minneapolis. People had a good time with that and some other funny ones. Thanks!


  • Broken Soul1109
    November 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO....I think it's great! I couldn't imagine meeting someone like that in real life....but then again...when I think of it, I do know someone like that! *slaps forhead and shakes head* I had hoped to forget about that one! Oh well...I think this is one he'd even enjoy, and he hates poetry...*stupid guy*
    I think the picture it painted was hilarious, and I think you did a great job at describing him.


  • jaunty pill gold member
    October 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A funny piece that tickled my throat. It is always you enigma that can make me laugh when I read your humor. I think this piece follows in that same path, with its use of rhyme and a funny mixed together it leaves you with this tantalizing little laughfest that never ends. Excellent work.

    much love,
    James


  • galfalfa gold member
    August 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    a gas

    There was a belching bear
    Who had way too much gas
    He complained of such an awful taste
    Til i told him to blow it outta his....asssssk me no more.
    Well thankyou for such a rootin tootin fun read
    Edited on Aug 26, 2:44 p.m. because ''.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks,Diane. I'm honored you put me to favs. I'll be swinging over to read you, too. My experience has been that when someone likes my writing, I like theirs. Great minds think alike? LOL! Again, thanks! Peace Through Love. ET

  • Diane Wehi
    August 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Well you are a man of many sides. I just read a very deep and intense philosophical write and now spin around to a very humorous write.I'm putting you on my fav.list just to see what else is going to pop out.lol I will read some of your other poems as there are some very capturing titles but run out of time for now. Until then.


  • vampira1665 silver member
    February 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Ok, that was just toooooo funny. What a great way to start the day. With a giggle. Hugs and bites, Lady Raven

  • NotYourCupOfTea
    February 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is funny
    Good picture too


  • Carole Dudley
    February 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    You made the corners of my mouth turn upward, and I'm so dammed depressed, it would take a well digger to get me up! Good work,
    as (in your case) always!


  • Nyx Iscariot
    February 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    *laughs* no repair needed! i think it's perfect how it is, im going to bookmark it, for the sole purpose of making me cheery when im down!! this is wonderfuL!

    Nyx...


  • February 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    unbelievable...i actually dated this guy!!!
    seriously...his nickname was bear
    and the cartoon...oh lord, it's his caricature!
    (don't recall bad breath though)
    other than that small detail, this was spot on HIM!
    you even had the quick as a hare down pat...but that's another story.....
    (grin)
    ~liz


  • yourbentangel
    February 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is everything but stupid, it was hilarious, and I really needed the laugh,
    I think that if they do open the category that you say they should, well, I might spend more time here.
    Lots of love and thanks for being silly and writing this, you made my day.


  • friarcracker
    February 3, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    haha this was great. i loved the line:
    I rock! (cause my chair ain’t square)
    that sounds like something i'd say in a moment of happiness (i get full of catch phrases when im in a good mood... such as "plaid aint bad")
    awesome write, thanks for brightening my day.


  • Carole Dudley
    January 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Terrific

    Well, I would applaud this poem if I had not used up all my applause keys for today, but consider yourself applauded. I have met this guy many times. He is always good til the novelty wears you down. Love it.


  • sidewinder silver member
    January 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL ...LOL....LOL
    this did get me laughing...that the tears are still rolling down my friend!
    Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
    Bill


  • Judas Denied
    January 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    That reads about like some of the personal ads you see. And yeah, it is funny. It made me smile and that's hard to do. Psychotic (Lunch) Breaks are fun to read about.

  • RoughRider
    January 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Execellent

    Very funny, first poem I read on the website that made me laugh. Hey don't worry I have heard some women, belch also big time nasty. Loved the picture. Thank you for your comments.


  • Redstormy gold member
    January 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Lol "wow what an ass" tee hee. good one Tim.

    Red


  • Blondita
    January 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...is this autobiographical ET ??? Bet it is really !!!!!

    Brought a giggle this am...very different material from you but we all need to express our madness and idiosyncracies from time to time n'est pas ???

    Enjoyed

    ~ sonia ~ X


  • NurseHayley
    January 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    OMG this is mad lol!!! I worried when I read the title but then found myself laughing my socks off once I finished reading it ! lmao!
    Thanks for making me laugh
    Hayley x x x x


  • Desire gold member
    January 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!I had to read this over and over again for I was laughing to hard between the stanzas~LOL
    This is hilarious and what did you drink while you were writing this Is it legal~Or did you inhale something ....
    This should be posted in all the cafeterias across America~I would cut back on what I eat just from reading this~LOL
    Great write and enjoyed this very much~It did ruin your reputation~If it was a personal write then that would be a different story Loved it More Please
    Big hugs and much love~Desire
    Edited on Jan 02, 1:52 because 'I popped a brain cell...hehe'.


  • Alam Shah
    December 28, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    Amused & Happy

    I've enjoyed reading this one. The first I've read from you and many more to come I hope in due time. My applause to you my friend for bringing the joy to the lighter side of things and putting smiles on those faces to warm. Keep those ticklish feathers by your side and never loose it...

  • -Dawn-
    December 27, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Oh LMAO!!! And not only that but I laughed so hard at this that I snorted even {please don't tell anyone I sound like a when I laugh too hard...I have a reputation to uphold }

    That picture with this poem....oh gawd that is so funny. What a wicked play on words {how the heck did I miss this?}


    I see these guys....they do that whoa hey baby at me on the streets and honk their car horns even!!

    Oh you make me smile all the time~~ I loved this poem!


    And I think I missed your birthday too??? Happy birthday


    Awesome work...LOL



    ~~Dawn


  • rhyana
    December 23, 2003
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    o.0
    my roomie writes similarly. may have to show him this in the morning. to think people say i'm scary...


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    December 22, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Is this a birthday gift to you?? lol

    My response,..well, would be more in expressions.


    ...did you slide off the stage or did your dog eat your monologue??

    Funny!!!!!!!!!


  • symitar Moderators member
    December 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Delightful, I love it! Much different than your usual fare, thats for sure, but its quite cleverly done! Glad you are sharing some of your wonderful wit, my friend! Hope all is well with you, this is great for a laugh!

    ~ becky


  • TormentedSoul
    December 14, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Actually, I had already read this yesterday. It gave me a well deserved laugh And I do thank you for that. Grand write. AND there is nothing wrong with being over forty. That's how old Brad Pitt is!
    *hugs*
    ~+~Sasha~+~


  • TillyMay
    December 14, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I nearly snorted my morning coffee out me nose! This is so funny...and doubly so because we were just reading the personal ads yesterday (purely for entertainment purposes, mind you) and having a laugh. They are great morning reading and far more amusing than most of the comic strips. Poor darling, don't you fret about being 46...some of the sexiest men I know are in thier forties...but do keep writing, I love your stuff x Tilly


  • maryannde gold member
    December 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    ROFL!!! Good lord...what ever have YOU been drinking? LOL NOOO more eggnog! unless you share!

    Where ever this came from....It certainly gave me a smile!

    Hugs..
    Mary ann

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    December 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I can't believe I'm 46 years old! DOH!

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