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Mausoleum Dreams


Toxic darkness invades,
unable to twist or turn.
Wisps of air becoming thin,
stale pungent odours burn.

Primal instinct forced,
releasing feral screams.
Time suspended, frozen,
this has to be a dream.

Dusted lungs choke,
haunted eyes are blind.
Invading terror throbs,
space is so confined.

Concealed deep below,
screeches have no worth.
Inside entombed shadows,
in the bowels of the earth.

Panic swiftly ensues,
hysteria on the rise.
Knowing that very soon,
I will meet my demise.

Thoughts are fading fast,
I can no longer survive.
Strangled by suffocation,
I was buried alive.

 

Author notes

69. write about a casket...not only a casket but being buried alive in one :]

I have a great real fear of this and the older I get the worse it becomes. You wouldn't believe my will!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • redhanded
    December 17, 2008

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    wow such a great write. I love the rythm to this piece as well as the over all idea you have displayed. great way to take the prompt. thanks for your entry I greatly appreciate it.
    best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
    andi
    (redhanded)


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Adore this... it's so strong and makes me feel so fearful too, plus I love the rhyme scheme. Can you put your fear in the AN box please? x


  • Dark Otter
    April 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Be afraid, very afraid

    One of mankind's primal fears. I'm just a shade claustrophobic. This was not a nice thing to do to me. Well, if I'm going to be buried alive, at least I'll have this poem to contemplate. You, did well milady. Once again, you show mastery of this genre. I tip my hat to you.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh heck! That's a horrid fear... being buried alive.. I've had nightmares about that... eek!!!

    What's in your will? lol

    Fantastic dark and chilling write hun! Freaked me out!

  • Nighttime angel
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    buried alive... not for me no way.. I have a fear of confined spaces, this would literally do me in... plus I am scared of the dark... hows that for you. a dark writer afraid of the dark. LOL I can feel everything that you went through.. no way mommy wouldn't let anyone do that to you..

    good luck in both contests

    kat


  • Violent Serenity
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, very well done I love this! It got the thoughts and feelings well into it, I neve thought of being buried alive before, but you have certainly clarified that now. Keep up the good work


  • aboomer silver member
    April 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Scary thought! And one many have. You did excellent in your descriptive emotions and images in this! Great wording!!!
    best wishes in your contest.


  • andywontdie silver member
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent my friend, you have taken my prompt crafted us a morbid, growling casket of your fear that no one dares to open cause they know whats inside. Im almost certain i know who this is by the way you described it and i loved it! I have only one slight correction: Stanza 4, last line; did you mean 'bowels' instead of 'bowl'? just wanted to clear that up. Otherwise a magnificent piece. I pray this never happens for it sounds dreadful. Thanks for your entry and good luck!


  • pappacass
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    buried alive

    now that's a fear....a magician died like this ya know..scary...great job my friend

1 - 9 of 9