Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Thank God that You are there

Chhatt pad ke dekhi to nazar aayaa
kitne kareeb hain aap
muaf karna meri galtiyon ko
tu hi mera na main tera Baap

English

just torn out the cielings
and I could see
how near to me You are

Please forgive my guilties
you are mein not
me your Godfather

Please criticise or appreciate this poem every comment is welcome

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Sudarshan
    June 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Hey Bhai, I finally am commenting on your poem :-) You say that this poem isnt complete, but the way I look at it, I think it is. The spiritual tone is just too excellent, it sounds like one of the Kabirdas poems or the hindi poems by those legends. However I feel there is a bit of sarcasm in those last lines, a faint hint of a atheist finally giving into his inner conscience. Nevertheless a fine read, keep writing.


  • Punjabi Putter
    May 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ich riss das dach heraus, und sah wie nah
    Du bist mein Gott, Bitte entschuldige meine Fehler; Du bist mein Gott und nicht umgekehrt.


  • Punjabi Putter
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is not complete, it will take a little bit time.... enjoy please, Pushpinder