The slight and timid looking reporter sat across the table from me.
I picked up my cigarettes and offered her one;
she refused with a hand gesture and took out a note pad.
It was the day before opening my new shop BED OF NAILS
A chain of stores now spread global, and this young girl had come to find out how.
“So…”
She began, rapidly clicking the ballpoint pen on the table;
“How did all of this start; where did you get the idea for a fetish chain”?
I smiled at her question.
It had been one asked many times
and as of yet I don’t think I had answered.
But this young girl with her immaculate suit and neatly tied back hair had that look
I had been her once;
and so I began:
“Do you know what a Fetish is”?
She was uncomfortable already.
It showed in her body language and the pink flush to her cheeks.
“Yes” she replied.
I raised an eyebrow and smiled at her,
she looked down at the table,
and “Would you explain” she asked politely.
I had just graduated and some friends of mine had invited me to a party,
nothing out of the ordinary.
My roommate and I chatted with some guys, we drank, we danced, and the night was fun and laughs;
that was the night I met her.
“Briana Delacour “
I felt a tightness in my chest and closed my eyes,
the love was still as raw now as it ever was;
and the loyalty too.
“Mistress” I whispered.
She looked at me questioningly and scribbled on her pad.
“Mistress...”? She enquired,
The night we met was spent talking, mostly of literature and foreign cultures.
She was intriguing, elegant and beautiful; I fell for her without hesitation.
Weeks past and we spent a lot of time together, we had become lovers and there was a bond between us that I won’t try to explain.
She looked up from her note book,
she didn’t question but her eyes asked why.
“You have never been in love” I replied
and her silence confirmed what I already knew.
One night after dinner I was told that we were going back to her place;
she had something for me.
In all the time we had been together I had never actually been to her home,
this might surprise you, but if you knew her, you wouldn’t be so surprised.
It was nothing out of the ordinary, large for a single woman I guess but everyone needs space right.
I was lead through the hall to a door which she opened, looking over her shoulder at me and grinning.
My first thought was, so… we’re gonna get kinky?
My second, more logical was, why the hell is she taking me to the basement?
We descended the stairs into complete blackness, I could feel her hand in mine and hear her breathing, she pushed me hard against the wall and kissed me deeply.
Have you ever kissed someone and fallen completely?
There’s just the two of you, lost in each other, no time, no space.
“No” was her honest reply
and so I continued.
She let go of my hand and bid me to stay where I was,
I heard a click and the basement room was illuminated, what I saw took a moment to take in to say the very least.
“What did you see” miss timid and polite asked, she was perched now on the edge of her seat.
“A torture chamber, I laughed” remembering the first reaction of horror and disbelief
I had been sheltered, just as this young thing in front of me.
She sat there with her mouth gapping.
I was in shock but Briana was soon before me, her delicate hands and soft touch,
her lips along my neck as she whispered;
“Don’t be afraid my love”.
She began to undress me, kissing along my breast, down to my stomach
Her tongue ran over the front of my panties, and I felt the thick fluids flowing.
My hands ran through her red hair as my underwear was removed and she worked my pussy till my legs felt too weak to hold me.
She then stood, the look of satisfaction on her face.
Again… took me by the hand, I was lead over to a bed, covered in what looked to be a dustsheet, it was low to the floor. She bent removing the sheet and exposing what would start my new life.
Before me lay a bed of nails, the long piercing spikes gleamed under the bright florescent lights, I couldn’t take my eyes away from it.
It was magnificent, horrifying. I bent and touched the cold steel , all the time Briana stood watching”
What happened next I would consider rude of you to ask…
but we made love on that bed. She showed me things that night that I had never imagined, pain and pleasure combined, I had a fetish for long nails, but not the kind that adorn your hands, she introduced me to it.
Briana showed me the woman inside of myself.
The searing pain, the cold steel, accompanied by her silk touch and soft caress,
the nails upon that bed, digging deep into me, tearing skin from skin and between crimson ravines of lust were discovered.
It was the night of my becoming.
Everything after that night lead to this,
my Mistress taught me, she loved me, she trained me in all I know.
To her I owe all that I am
and so sweet girl, that is where… “Bed of nails” began.
The birth of a fetish
and now I cater to the desires of others.
She looked over at me, I could see a thousand questions running through her mind behind those blue eyes, her hair was not so neat and her note pad looked rather empty.
“Come with me” I said in a low tone.
I reached across the table and took her hand, leading her to the back room,
Cold, dark and familiar.
I removed the dust sheet from the bed of nails,
it was glinting, finding every fragment of light there was to find.
She had the look I must have worn, and bent to touch its merciless gift.
What happened next…
Is another story.
Author notes
option 1 ish 
A contest entry
- "Let's Get It On" by Loversdance.
400 points, ended November 18, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Great idea...what happens next...
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You did a great job on this! I rarely read stories as I'm into pure poetry but this has a poetic tone and the tale is captivating.
Love,
Amera♥
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Holy crap! That was exciting! lol. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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wow, wow, wow!
this piece grabs you and doesn't let go then leaves you wanting more at the end
No one pens erotic like my girl.
This is fabulous baby
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thank you my love
im glad you enjoyed this
i love you
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this piece has grab me effect to the wonderful extreme! the punctuation could have been better and even as a story this really worked for me. lolol... Great job on originality and creativity. I actually liked this story the way you have it due to the fact that even though it is supposed to be prose, it reaches out and touches the reader in a much different way than "just another story" format.
Fantastic job hon!
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thank you for your wonderful comment
im glad you enjoyed this
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well written. i'm not a fetishist, so when i say i like this piece it's because you artfully rendered your world in a personal, and even vulnerable, vernacular. in particular i like the seamless movements between time and place: from immediate past (the interview) to farther back (meeting briana) to present tense ('is another story'). It shows a talented grasp of the storytelling craft. thank you for your post. -silverfish
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well
thank you very much
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Spelling/grammar/punctuation = 13
There were a few spots where the start of a new line was not necessary. Punctuation missing before the line "I had been her once;". The question mark comes before the close of the " and not after. The word 'and' was pointless where it goes on to state "Would you explain" (along with a question mark missing there). When one is talking from the present state there are ALWAYS inverted commas used, but it seems the 'story teller' in this one only had them sometimes. Seems you had a bit of a problem with the inverted commas throughout this write. Gapping is spelt with one p. Lead should've been led.
Presentation / creativity = 20
Wonderfully creative take on the prompt given!
How well you handled the challenge = 20
'Grab me' effect = 19
Overall = 18
TOTAL = 90/100
I have given you the benefit of the doubt with the capitalization of the pronoun "I" when referring to a Mistress.
The originality was superb and if the punctuation, etc was worked on a bit more, you would've DEFINITELY gotten a higher score from me Lexie ... my apologies for being rather pedantic when it comes to things like this - truly!
Back to your write:
You DO of course realize that you have now managed to plant a seed in my mind and tell Tattboy about this don't you???? Methinks that is what makes this an amazing write - thank you for sharing! -
daaammmmmnnnnnnnn....
princess! LOL
you are a wild woman indeed...
this is enticing and very well penned...
the storyline is riveting and grabs the reader by the pink panties...pleasurably...LOL...and refuses to let go...
you rock beautiful princess...
an amazing take on the prompt BED OF NAILS...
your mind is a beautiful place to lay...
Blessings! Tammy
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thank you Tammy LOL
my mind right now is a disturbing place LOL.
i love you
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Great introduction, cliched ending but worked. The conflict and resolution of the story were excellent well done. As a story it needed to be paragraphed and structured as prose, the form here is too poetic. Using shorter sentences helps build up the moments of tension/passion. Well done on not doing the obvious take on this prompt. You really need to examine punctuation closely, the semi colon and comma are not your friend in story writing as they are in poetry. All in all a good story just needs a bit of fine editing or a proof reader.
Spellng/Grammar/Punctuation: 18 too many semi colons and commas.
Presentation/Creativity: 18 needs a paragraph structure.
How well you handled the challenge:18 all the elements of a story are there.
Grab me effect:20 great take on the prompt
Overall:19
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Total:93
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Well
From you a 93 is a great score, so im happy with that
thankyou
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Wow, Lexie you have seriously blown me away with this story...
Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 19
I think the use of the semi-colons was a bit off.
Creativity/ Presentation: 19
This is by far one of the best stories I have read thus far. I feel the presentation would have been better had this been more story form than poetic.
How well you handled the challenge: 20
You really "nailed" this one home.
"Grab me" effect: 20
You had me from beginnning to end and I love the twist on this, bed of nails, who would have thought.
Overall: 20
____________________________________________
Total: 98
**Master Ktulu**
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THANKYOU
im speachless
thanks so much for the wonderful comments
this was quite a challenge, and i honestly considered defeat and didnt post this
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i have no words...simply amazing. i felt like i was there. i think you won this contest lexie way to go!!
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Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 17
One or two little errors like gapping instead of gaping. Punctuation and caps at the beginning of most lines also did not work for me.
Creativity/ Presentation: 19
You were so creative that I am blown away. If only your presentation matched that perfection. I would have liked to see some paragraphs. This was a story almost hidden in poetry format.
How well you handled the challenge: 20
What can I say? This was BRILLIANT!!!!
"Grab me" factor: 20
I could not stop reading. This was amazing work. You had me all hot and bothered ...
Overall: 20
Total: 96
This is officially the highest score for this round so far from me. You "nailed" this one. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic. You should do more of these. -
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*BLUSH*
what can i say to that??
im honored by your comments
and glad that this was enjoyed by others
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