Hey precious child, there’s no reason to cry,
You can be whatever you dare.
The world’s your oyster and you’ll never die
And your life will always be fair.
Skies will be blue and friends will be true;
You might even become president
Your personal savior will take care of you,
And your bliss will be heavenly sent.
Is there somewhere a finer reason to lie
Than the innocent eyes of a child?
In the things you say with a smile and a sigh
Some truths splay softly defiled.
You may say there really is no one to blame
Every day the same is a shame.
No one finds their fortune nor fame
When they're playing the zero sum game.
Eons end everyday of the year.
Fresh flowers may fade in their flush.
I suppose we all should be of good cheer
For the sake of the loved ones we’ll crush.
Still in the moments ‘tween seconds in time,
Amid that twilight haze when we wake,
We’ll go on in panic, without reason or rhyme
Playing zero sum games for love's sake.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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~Oh My ~RJ~ Profound, Lyrical, and Beautiful~
You always leave me mesmerized, hypnotized,
With deeply moving lessons on life and love.
Your poem flows as a gift from angelic doves.
Namaste Blessed Be, to all you love for eternity!
All my love, Sharon
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Excellent!
RJ, this is a very moving & powerful write. The flow is great & the message profound. I do enjoy the way you think!
Peace-Syah
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awsome
i just loved this piece period.
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"Is there somewhere a finer reason to lie
Than the innocent eyes of a child?
In the things you say with a smile and a sigh
Some truths get softly defiled."
Very, very true - yet at the same time, it's evocatively mysterious. Some of the lines in this poem are a little bit... okay, many of them are - confusing, sort of indirect. I know you said precisely what you meant for this, but somehow, it doesn't really seem to hit the nail on the head
. Rewarded 8
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There is no truer fact! We play out each day, coming one day closer to death. I once felt that, yes, I only live with a smile for my familys sake. But once I met Kris that all changed. I live to spend every morning waking to see his smile. I wake each morning hoping to chat with the kids. They may be far away but they could never be any closer to me then in my very heart and soul.
But the fakes are still there, we live each day wishing that what we were told as children would really.....truly happen. That we could do and be what ever we wanted with out a worry at all.
We still can be what we want, but we have to work damned hard to get it...all the while dealing with assholes that try to fuck it up for ya!
Luv ya RJ,
Tisha
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This is certainly ...
a poignant and powerful piece.
These lines are not the strongest lines here, but they struck me in particular because of all the lines in the poem, they are the most open to being misinterpreted.
Eons end everyday of the year.
Fresh flowers may fade in their flush.
I suppose we all should be of good cheer
For the sake of the loved ones we’ll crush.
The rest of this is close to perfect. Good job, all in all.
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This pieces depth and profound nature in it's message,is phenomenal! I like the inclusional tie -in of religion too. I suppose in unwarranted answer to this. Both faith and lies of encouragement are intentional "legs to stand on","wings allowing flight" so to speak. And the human mind needs a good imagination to create.But oh what bitter webs we weave if all the accompanying tools aren't in place along with the lies that insure victories.You've infused rhythm,rhyme and relevance in verse. Not an easy thing to do.
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excellent
How beautiful and true poem. Reading it in the hard moments of my life. My father died a month ago, my sister is in critical condition on intensive care. This poem gave me some peace and relief. Thank you!
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Beautiful rhyme scheme and rhythm! Very well penned!
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your rhyme scheme worked so well! I'm very impressed, not often do I see rhyme schemes that flow as fluidly as this does without seeming forced. Your concept is more original, and so true - how can we not lie into the eyes of an innocent child? and how can we not wish their life to turn out as we imagine it? I loved the title, it intrigued me and pulled me in. The last stanza was my favorite, it flowed so nicely. The way you used "'tween" instead of "between" in the last stanza irked me - was it for syllables? If not, my personal opinion would to use "between" I don't think you'll lose anything from the rhythm if you do so. Other that, I have no criticism. Great write
. Rewarded 8
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I have no idea what people do or don't tell kids, I'm not sure my folk even talked to me except to say, "Get you butt outside and away from that damned idiot box!" So I have a feeling I never got the rose colored treatment.
I don't know your religious beliefs but I could actually broaden this poem to that, to those who are told what may not actually exist, but I'm an Agnostic so tend to see things that way anyway...but it is a parallel, but I could also broaden it to other things, the American dream for example, and I do wonder if this poem was meant as something broader than worrying about parental romanticism.
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Finally you have a new one!!!
As usual you kept your poem within a nice and soft rhythm. All the things that are said to children to keep their minds at ease, or to put a smile on their faces. I was never like that. However I did and still encourage my children, I find very important that they know (even when they were much younger) that life isn't a huge box of only good events. It's better to make them aware that hurt exists than to let them be caught by surprise.
I'm very happy to see you have been inspired again.
So really about time
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