My poetic mind
calls upon inspiration
with the strength and sincerity
of my soul
where thoughts
envelope the air
suffocating the hand
that summons intention
dominating
and in control
while this flower
with curled fingers
sinks beneath the light
crying out for nourishment
that never rewards
the way she expects....
Author notes
"Because she never really learnt how to breathe" - H.R.
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired - Under 50 Words by Exodus.
525 points, ended May 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Personally I thought the first stanza was a little ordinary, but you really picked it up with the second and fourth.
Thank you for a very interesting piece.
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Wowzers...again ;)
The entire second stanza=pure gold. Really.
"dominating and in control"
Nice line--very cohesive.
"that never rewards
the way she expects...."
How sad! Very heartfelt.
-
okay this is abs. beautiful i really love it
but im not sure about this, but i thought we couldnt use anything in the quotes, like the she and never you have..but i dont know, i thought so , so i had to edit mine
lol
but lovely write, love the last stanza its my fav
good luck
take care
stephanie
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