Ever see
A candle blow out
With nothing but a wisp of smoke
A whisper of a shout
What if I caught that wisp
And kept it close
To fill with forgotten memories
And echoes of her you loved most
Then would you grieve
To know what you have lost
Then would you know
What love costs
More than a kiss
And flowers so fair
But a piece of your soul
When she ceases to be there
No matter how hard you breathe
There is never enough air
For you to tell and her to hear
How much you really care
So much of death
To be so unfair
So much pain
With a heart cut and laid bare
Now do you realize
What has come to pass
Although she is gone
She is not the past
She is every waking moment
Every thought tinged with her
Although not torment
The loss is still dear
Now you know
Love is forever
And so is death
Although you cant touch
You feel it none the less
And when you sleep and dream of things
Somewhere she rests
Her butterfly wings
A contest entry
- Give me life, give me love, give me Your story! by only1love4ever.
625 points, ended May 10, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best! by BabyBun.
450 points, ended May 8, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EMOTIONAL!!!!! Looking for the best. by Condemd RyeZing.
650 points, ended June 2, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sew Me a New Heart by Good Mourning Moon.
300 points, ended July 26, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memories Never Die by Starz of Heaven.
1000 points, ended October 21, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Reliving the Past by Dead Lover.
700 points, ended November 30, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This is a very sad but a beautiful piece that you have written. A memory of piece that many can understand thank you for taking the time to enter be well
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wow
This is so beautiful and I really haven't the words to say how much I loved this. Wonderful job. You deserved gold -
wow
This is so beautiful and I really haven't the words to say how much I loved this. Wonderful job. You deserved gold
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This is poem is terrific and lovely. It is so sad and loving. Good luck
This is beautiful. beautifully written, and wonderful substance and metaphor's. So alive.
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wonderful
this poem is very beautiful, conveying your feelings of love and loss wonderfully well. best of luck in the contest,
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Wow. Absolutely wow. I loved it. Nice job.
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this is so sad I am so sorry for your loss
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Really like this - great work
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Wow this is amazing and so sad, I am terrible sorry for your loss angel, you can talk anytime, breath taking work
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beautiful write...and fading into sadness...you took me on an emotional ride...good luck in your contest
peace, love, & cheese -
Beautiful and sad all at one, wonderfully written. It brought a sting in my eyes and a pang in my heart. I love the last two lines, such imagery! Thank you for sharing it with us all on here. And I am sorry for your loss. And if we can hold on to the happy memories and smile, then in life is it all worth while.
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
Beautiful rendition on what feelings you had.
We all in a sense can relate to a lost love.
More so then others, but you have captured it all for us to remember.
Job Excellently done. -
Very lovely read
Erik -
Only1love4ever-Reply
Oh wow I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how hard this can be, as I said in the description, losing my father, it took a big piece out of me. It was hard to understand at first. The man that murdered him has been in prison for the last 5 years, but he gets out on my 21st birthday.
It truly irritates me to say the least. The man told the judge at court, he was proud for what he'd done and he'd do it again!
It amazes me how a person could say such things and still get out as soon as he will.
Life has it's ways though of bringing your loved ones back to you, when you need them there the most and sometimes its at the funniest times.
Just have faith and keep your attitude strong.
This is a beautiful poem and it really hit me with a lot of emotion and depth.
I love how you put it together, there are many strong words and ideas here that you've focused on.
As the words spark such interest, the layout is easy to read and follow and the whole poem itself it beautiful and magical, to say the least.
It is definently heartfelt and touching.
Just be patient and in the end things will work out.
As you said,
Now do you realize
What has come to pass
Although she is gone
She is not the past
She is every waking moment
Every thought tinged with her
Although not torment
The loss is still dear
Now you know
Love is forever
And so is death
Although you cant touch
You feel it none the less
And when you sleep and dream of things
Somewhere she rests
Her butterfly wings
This gives us all hope I do believe, and these words adn lines are so much more than just words and lines, they are values, they are strengths, and they are hope for another day.
Much love and God Bless you dear friend.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
It is a great contribution to my contest!
Good luck!
Keep faith and be strong!
~Only1love4ever
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What a beautifully sad write. She would be proud of the way you have written these amazing words for her. I am sorry for your loss. Blessings, Patty
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This was beautiful. I especially liked: She is not the past, She is every waking moment." The ending line also has a nice flow to it and a satisfying conclusion.
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Beautiful, very touching, words cannot describe.
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Food for thought
Wise words that everyone with a significant other needs to read. It's so easy to take one another for granted, and only from the perspective of loss do we begin to appreciate what we held in our hands. Well done!
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