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What comments may come






It is not only your words
in rhyme or free verses
made to create poems
that can show your mind

I search beyond the obvious
looking for what you think
of what doesn't belong to you

How do you read thoughts
what they inspire you to say?

Are you the 'wow' type in wonderful land
pats on the back and keep on penning?
or you really try to see through
and feel the words before your eyes?

Through all you think I won't see
in the back stage of your profile
your comments is what I want to read





Author notes

JFTJOI you know by now what that means

If the idea isn't clear, then I failed miserably writing this entry. That is probably what happened, after all is 5:12am and I should be having a nice meeting with Morpheus

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Peteskid gold member
    April 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think there is something to this, so much more revealing are the words one doesnt expect to be in the focus... the diference between what we say and what we really do... wonderful insights here, a remarkable poem...h


  • nom de guerre
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In a perfect vacuum we'd learn more from comments than from poetry, after all, prose should reflect in a more delineated why what we think...but also most people gush their praises (unless it is something I wrote, in which they simply say, "Interesting" and move on, never to be seen again.) Where was I?

    Nicely written, I'm a bit envious, there are some elements here I'll probably steal, but you won't be able to claim plagiarism because I'll disguise it.


  • voices
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    verry well put together.
    you are a genius. its as if you read my mind.
    like we have some cosmic connection.
    i was going to end this contest early, glad i waited.
    i am so pleased to get this amazing entry. i was beginning to give up on finding something so perfect. but that is what this is, perfect. perfect in every way. i cannot imagine how it could possibly be any better. congratulations on such an awesome work of art.


    • gaze
      April 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      onnozel


      • voices
        April 20, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        hope you caught my humor, dont know onnozel, but i suspect it means you did.

        • gaze
          April 20, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          saw the tongue? so yes I did

          onnozel is Dutch to silly
          And I could guess you'd bring a comment like that...made me laugh here this morning

1 - 6 of 6