Earth is nothing but a dripping sink
Factory jobs and 2:00 p.m. beer
composite memories of the damned
Ignore the poor, they recognize that
I was six the first time I did
I stopped and stared and kicked dust
into ashen faced workers
You have to be strong in shadows
I yelled, but I didn't understand
Maybe now, looking out the dingy window,
they realize the state they're in
but no one else cares
pouring champagne, cool and clean
The sun is still out
and the hills are still gold
and they're smoking cigarettes
letting others die
We have the same shame
and the best writers have said very little
Everyone's to blame, fucking the world
fed by our taxes
while we feed them a killing disease
Whiskey and raw whores
spill smoke into the dark
in philly bars with cracked up men
killing their dogs
and fencing in their suburban hypocrisy
The poor seem something depraved
over the plain city
in their industrial jobs
listening to the sound of tears
sorrows beget sorrows
A contest entry
- Alien on My Own Planet - Picture Prompt by shepherd23.
450 points, ended April 27, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended April 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything!!!! by Falcon SilverWolf.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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very interesting poem i must say. your idea and topic are some what confussing but only in the way that you want to read more. your style is very traditional for a free verse. however i have a feeling your holding back for some reason. not in a bad way mind you i would like to read more of your work. it intrigues me thankyo
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WoW I live in Philly and so I think it's best that I leave this alone.
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I grew up in a predominantly white middle to upper class neighborhood. It wasn't until I was in high school and began venturing outside the realms of comfort that I truly came in contact with those less fortuante -
its a sad world we live in and at that time it was so eye-opening that it startled me. It wasn't because my family didn't associate, it was merely because we were homebodies, literally.
This has power.
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Well alrighty then...
Very well visualized..."Earth is nothing but a dripping sink
Factory jobs and 2:00 p.m. beer
composite memories of the damned" super opening lines!
Wonderful rendering - different take on the state of man - social delima brought on by industrializing relationships....
Nicely done indeed...
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Yeah!! Everything you said. I ignored the poor when i was in college on a 4-year I didn't earn. now that I'm on the brink of homelessness and joblessness and I see people on busy streets with signs, i don't ignore them any more!. Even if I won the Powerball tomorrow(which i probably won't) my attitude would still be,... FUCK THE RICH!!!
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WOW
WOW, i thought it was intense..I can just hear the yelling in this poem.."You have to be strong in the shadows..." That was a great line I feel that so much because I was homeless for a little while, and you do have to be strong. This poem embodies a lot of what i went through and I really love seeing an author put some great thought into a poem such as this. I really enjoyed this poem, and I hope there is more to come of this calliber.
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I take pride in my poverty. It is the rich which I find truly obscene. Awesome write.
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you have a masterful gift of description
for instance"
Whiskey and raw whores
spill smoke into the dark
in philly bars with cracked up men
killing their dogs
and fencing in their suburban hypocrisy
a very enjoyable read, best of luck to you in the contest
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You have managed to convey a sense of alienation in this excellent write - as the contest requires - You have also made a powerful statement through your use of imagery and the poignant final stanza. Good luck!
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Wow. This is haunting. And beautiful. Amazing write. Your words flowed beautifully. Great use of vocabulary. This is a truly magnificent write. Thank you for this, and best of luck in the compass
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