Bright
but dark
with purpose.
I see them call -
they move towards me,
whispering for my name.
The flicker won't fool me yet,
or maybe they already have.
They move brisk green, into my land,
dizzying my soul and enchanting
me into a perilous delusion.
Author notes
Oh, Stephen, how I wish...
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Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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wow i really liked that...straight and to the point and i like it a lot. you read it and then it sorta makes you read it again.
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ooo
It is amazing how you personified the emotions those eyes put you through. I could feel every line and it was breath-taking.
The sirst two lines were just perfect and made way for the rest of the poem.
"dizzying my soul and enchanting
me into a perilous delusion."
These lines reminded me of a fairytale and how things are sugar-coated but so beautiful. They keep us coming back for more. This poem is just as good.
I hope this feelings goes on forever.
transit~
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i love it.
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Amazing
Bright
but dark
with purpose.
I see them call -
they move towards me,
whispering for my name.
This stanza just sets the entire poem on fire. I love it and it is amazing how well you described "Those Eyes". You truly did a lovely job with this poem and many times I have tried to write about eyes, but never could I portray them as you have.
This has truly inspired me.
You are an amazing writer.
Thank you for sharing.
Have a wonderful day.
God Bless.
~Only1love4ever -
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Thank you.
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hmm, im not sure whwat i think.....i had to read it a few times, but when i finally got it, i fell in love.
its beautiful, really. -
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Thank you.
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amazing!
Your first sentance already held my attention, and every word that followed was precious, so much emotion spilled from very well chosen words..i loved this so much! -
this is like the seducer in the movies, all in the eyes. I did like this poem a lot.
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Thank you.
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Yes. This is DEEP poetry, by a MAN WHO KNOWS. Maybe you should spend more time learning how to write instead of attacking those who actually try. I don't see your work up there. I see 87 poems, and a whole lot of comments...
and you think you have the right to attack me?
Grow up little man, you've got many many years of trials and tribulations before you can so much as breathe my air.
Yeah, they're moving towards you alright, careful they just might gitya
Seeya sugarpie,
Jin -
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Oh but you see, here's the difference: I know I can't write good poetry. You don't.
I would never want to breathe what you must be breathing. Even now you are still being a pretentious twat, trying to make me seem as though I must look up to you and not the other way around, trying to make it seem as though your "many years of trials and tribulations" somehow make you important enough to lie to yourself to tell me that I must become more like you before I can criticize you.
You are the epitome of pretention, "sugarpie".
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Intriguing poem, I'll say that much. Don't think I've ever read a poem about eyes quite like this one. It definitely drew me in and held my attention until the last line. Your style is interesting; I like it a lot. Great job!
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