With open eyes you’ll see
a diamond turn to dust,
circles become squares,
persona readjusts.
Who will she be today?
What angle will she share?
Sharpness softened slightly,
performance debonair.
Iridescent beauty,
simple symmetrical lies,
smoke and magic mirrors
flawlessly improvise.
Appearance is illusion,
sneaky snowflakes always melt,
she’ll give you velvet kisses
(but hers are made of felt).
She paints her pretty picture,
the lines are no concern,
revealing is the twist,
truth with just a turn.
Author notes
POW Theme: the person who changes depending on who they are around or what they need. (sell-outs, posers, users)
POW twist - No e in 2nd or last line. (hard as hell....much respect to the letter e)
((and Kaleidoscopes are super cool))
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended April 21, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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gives the bronze a midas touch
ExCeLeNt! there is absolutly nothing about this poem that i don't like
except that it makes me jealous i didnt write it it should have won gold
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I absolutely loved this. It reminded me of the Beatles' song "Lucy in the Sky with Daimonds" because of "the girl with kaleidescope eyes"
I admired how you used the kaleidescope as a metaphor throughout the poem to describe someone's personality. Perfect.
This is clean and concise, yet full of beauitful imagery for the mind. Good Job! -
Very Cutting
Love the last stanza. This person gives just enough truth, but then puts a spin on it to manipulate.
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Splendid!!! I love it!
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Congrats! -
Nothing more needs be said than "I LOVE THIS!" Congrats on the shiney and I hope that this is also a POW?!?!?!....
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Hi Jamie,
Now where was this poem when I was in high-school and surrounded by “angelic” cheerleaders who were out late every night doing...oh, never mind. But really, it didn’t get any better the older I’ve gotten, as soooo many people are like this. 
I love your title first off. It imparts information the reader needs to make the metaphoric connection clear, yet without having to outright name “kaleidoscopes” in the body of the poem. Wonderful!
There is honestly only one thing that concerns me within this entire piece, and that is the “s” factor...I recently learned recording engineers use “de-essers” to play down the “s” sounds a singer makes. (And there I go, doing it myself! lol) But, my point being, too many “s” sounds can make for one heck of a tongue-twister and/or make for “hissing“ qualities. Reading this aloud, stanzas 2, 3, and 4 tended to trip me up, even when I knew what to expect. (Interestingly enough though, “s” sounds also work wonderfully to slow reading down, and that’s another thing I liked about the poem.) My suggestion would be to tone it down just a wee bit, or maybe just have it spread out slightly more. But, try reading this out loud a few times and see what you think. It’s going on 2am here, so I might not be able to trust my tongue at this point.
As Bear said, above average rhyming, and absolutely lovely flow, presentation, and imagery make this a very well-rounded poem. I suspect it’s going to do quite well on my scoreboard. Thanks so much for joining us, and good luck to you!
Best wishes,
~J. -
Hi Jamie :)
Ok....first thing I noticed, was meter count on 3rd stanza, 3rd line....*magic*......to me, IMHO, I think it should be *magical*....yes?
4th stanza.......2nd line...........*the lines are (of) no concern*
No big deals there, just thought I'd share my thoughts :)
OK....absolutely loved your Theme, and the way you presented it, is beautiful :)
Imagery and delightful Flow to tease my senses with a soft touch of serene feelings and an emotional tug....just enough to make me read it slowly to grasp all of your wonderful grammatical choices ~
.....and your rhyme is above average....not as elementary as some of the writes I have read in the past ~
I have critiqued about as much as I can with this beautiful piece of work, so let me just say....fabulous job and the best to you and your lovely entry,
...be well and God bless,
Bear ~
Title 10...perfect ~
Flow 9.7
Depth 9.8
Theme 10
Feelings 9.95
Grammar 9.95
Presentation 9.95
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 99.35
Lovely job and grrreat score :)
No editing ~
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sorry...*jamie*
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your rhyme is quite outstanding
good luck jaime
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SUPER JOB!Execellent imagery and movement in this Jamie! Yes, Kaleidoscopes are awesome. THANKS for sharing this !!!
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I love kaleidoscopes! So fascinating, and fun to make your own, too!
Great images in this and an unusual theme I think, too.
Well done
best wishes in the contest
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A fantastic piece, love the imagery portrayed here. A great theme to, superbly penned. All the best in the contest
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Wicked!
Wicked awesome poem, wicked awesome theme, written by a wicked awesome poetess. Standing Ovation I love it!
I think it will take some heavy hitt'n poets to beat this one.
Best wishes in the contest.
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Nicely re-done!
Best wishes in the contest!
*PEACE* -
A magical 'write' capturing the essence of the Kaleidoscope down to a 't'.
Very impressive! Sol
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A very clever write, and message. Good luck in the contest.
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I see you didn't get to edit, but I'll give you points today. so you will much better, when arkbear killed your play. rudolf
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Aloha Jamie!
VERY carefully read all of the rules this week!
Then write on! Best wishes in the contest!
*PEACE*
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Oh Jeeze!! Thank you! lol...I totally thought that was a joke in the comment section! I am editing now! Thanks soooooooo much!
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I think we were all trying to let people know
without downright coming out and saying anything!
still-yet! lol (That's pidgin as they call it here)
Write on!
*PEACE*
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You've done VERY WELL with this, which honestly when it comes to your work is to be expected from me by now...lol. I think that there are many people out there who kinda show a different side of themselves to different people.. all depending on that persons personality, and the surrounding of course. I know for a fact that I am indeed like that.
Anyways.. Great Job I think that many can relate to this.. the entire piece flows flawlessly, and I enjoyed reading it SO much... I love what you've been doing lately with your writing... so please keep it up girl I LIKE it
Peace!
Mandy
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