[ Coming home everynight ]

Coming home everynight
to this same mess
Looking away
Trying not to make eye contact
Mumbling words, you try to fight

I cringe and try to brush it off
Watching as if it was parts of my heart falling
crashing to the ground, explodeing
Tears begine to build up

Running to the shower
My only protection
Trying to make it quite
I cry so hard i hiccup

Why does this happen
What i thought was real, wasnt
Now im stuck in this bind
for my child you have
Do I keep kissing ass
In fear my son wont know me come next year?
Or do i face the facts and lash back
What would happen..

Would your hand impact my face?
Would My lungs be bruised?
Could I stand the next day?

So many fears
Yet the only thing that matters is my child
I cant care about myself
I have to much to worry about

Gaining weight..
Im disgusting, i hate myself
You did this
I blame you for the hatered I feel
For the pain i keep deep inside
Its you I cant stand

But just like every other day
Its your house i come home to
Its your rules i must go by
and everyday I go older
Wiser, stronger
but most of all
I go colder..