The summer nite air greets me as I stand on the balcony.
A half-full glass of ice and scotch hangs heavy in my hand.
Moments ago I left you sleeping,
buried under your blankets, curled with your pillows.
I can hear you moving from where I stand on the balcony.
The sound of rustling cotton fills the room connecting the balcony and you.
Lazy rain wets the tired asphalt,
Cooling it after the beating given by the noon sun.
The misting rain mats my hair against my forehead;
Lukewarm rain cooling the heat radiating from my body.
Lonely the car driving down the deserted dimly lit street.
Only wishing to arrive at some unknown destination as quickly as possible.
The lonely streetlight, casting a tired illumination of light,
Stands proud as forgotten warriors.
A pale halo of light paints diamonds in the air,
Each drop of rain momentarily achieving what could never be explained.
As soon as the raindrops pass thru the light
the immortality fades into the summer nite.
Lightning flashes on the horizon followed by dull roars of thunder.
Undefinable distance separates sight and sound.
Structures receive the rain with humility and surrendered strength.
The scotch watered down and bitter on my tongue
Temporarily quenches my thirst.
Author notes
No More Rain
A contest entry
- Goodnight Sweetheart...Title Prompt Comp by lostangel07.
300 points, ended April 19, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite-palooza by swim.x.
1650 points, ended October 6, 2008, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You write with beautiful imagery with such ease. I envy that of you. The words danced and fell with grace across the page as my eyes read your wonderful words. Great write.
Congratulations.
Good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
Very well written, to make you imagine it in your mind. Excellent job.
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What beautiful descriptiveness there is in this poem.. and made it breathe and come to life in my mind.
Lovely write!
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Excellent!
Beautifully penned poet I could visualize everything so clearly, you sucked me right in!!! You most certainly deserved a trophy for this one I look forward to reading more of your work!!
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Wow!
Nice work. Glad you got that trophy!
You had me in a spell from start to finish. I felt as though I were there in the moment, your descriptions were lacking naught & were quite visual. It was more like a short story in poem form. Really like this. 
I think this could be the prelude to a movie I could see & feel it so clearly. 
Thx for the midday break! Wow...
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This has a lot of very good visuals, you really painted a picture in my head of the setting.. the balcony, the rain... it's a sad and sort of, well, tired setting, but it works well.
"The lonely streetlight, casting a tired illumination of light,
Stands proud as forgotten warriors."
That line is my favorite.
Good work. -
Great piece, very different. One quick correction thru = through. This was very delicately written and the imagery was amazing. I could almost see you standing there! Great write
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