the wolves are at my door
& at night I can’t sleep
for the sound of clicking claws
& pacing paws ‘neath my window
by day their fur is a carpet
that stretches to the horizon -
their silhouettes frightening
against an innocent morning sun
they are patient in their wait
& hungry, so damn h.u.n.g.r.y.
for a piece of me
tears are an unaffordable luxury,
animals can smell weakness -
I stink of debility
& the shame of poverty
one day the beasts will get me
& maybe, maybe
that wouldn’t be so bad
at least it would
put an end
to these fears
Author notes
the wolves represent the unpredictability of my disease (Multiple Sclerosis) and the fear of becoming homeless
In a list
whatcha think of this? critique welcome
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Nicely written.
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Wow. You deserved, in my opinion, far more than an HM for this honest look into the fears of your soul. This is gut wrenching. The metaphor is smooth, seamless, and effective. Then, the author's notes really make it real (but I had already applied your words to myself--which means you are a talented writer).
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'so damn h.u.n.g.r.y.' excellent use of periods after each letter... i could almost see the wolves snarling and licking their chops
very powerful write and one to be proud of
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Now I understand.
We all have something that we fear and I can relate to this piece because my father-in-law died from complications of MS as did his father. My husband has diabetic neuropathy but we do know what you are saying. I pretty much felt the same when I had cancer until I learned to make the wolves my friend. After awhile the fear was conquered.
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Forgive me for I had to go and research this disease and it gave the poem a lot more value, though it was a great poem to begin with. I really feel for through this and the part that really sticks out is the end, cause you put a positive twist to your fear, and your disease finally consuming you. Well written with great analogies and metaphors. Thanks for entering and best of luck!
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Beautifully written, really gives the reader a feel of fear. We all have days when we want to let everything in and give up, had many myself. Yet we seem to get back up and plod on. I do like the ending of this, awesome. Good luck in the contest
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This a wonderful dark write, and the wolves are cunning enough to wait you out. I love how you ended it. This surely sums up your fear of wolves...and a great Imagery.....write on!...
novy
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That is really great the fear of a wolf trying to get you, perfect!
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I don't know what to say except that I want to give you a hug.
I guess I'll have to settle for giving you applause, because this really was an awesome write. And I know I've definitely felt that way about my fears.
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hmm...
I might have made a grammatical oopsie, not sure though...
Would it be:
and yes, you're not giving in to it
or
and no, you're not giving in to it
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I have to say that I started to realize this was about MS the moment I got past the third stanza. Probably because you've told me once before you have to deal with this terrible disease.
I have to say, but god damn it - that metaphor you used is more than stellar. Between the 'darkness' and desperateness (if that even is a word) that I felt dripping through your words, you have managed to add that extra strength with it, a force that practically radiates a 'beware, cause I'm dangerous' sign to your disease.
Yes, you are a powerful woman - and yes, you're not giving in to it, even if you sometimes have fearful thoughts...
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this was intresting hiow you did that i found it very good I like this poem alot and keep writting. i understood the fear but you know Im not trying to put religion in it but I will pray for you
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I'm sorry that you have to suffer with MS. I have a friend who also has the disease. Beautifully haunting write, and the best of luck with everything.
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A very brave and honest write. We all have moments of feeling utterly helpless, yet we wake up and keep going as I'm sure you always do. Seek help wherever you can find it and never feel ashamed of doing so, but attract the right people to stand beside you, if only for a moment. Turn your fears over to your higher self and the answers will come.
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