So strange and sad.
She could have been at the seder.
Why is this night like no other?
For her, it was like no other
and she would never see another.
Collecting pills to hoard
for the appropriate moment
The morning after the seder.
She took them all.
Her room mate came in.
There was the empty glass
Beside the bed,
Beside her little blue mules
She had kicked to one side.
Her hand still clutched the telephone.
No one knows if she tried
To make a call and change her mind.
She'd changed it several times before.
Fifteen years ago,
She missed the seder.
Fifteen years ago she died,
The same year as Kurt Cobain
And many nameless others.
She was funny and bright
But never really knew it.
For her, there has been no seder
For a long, long time.
A contest entry
- Missing You...a poem to those lost to suicide or accidental suicide. by SummerlandRayne.
513 points, ended April 24, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever..just make it good. [astonish me] by borrowing.moonlight.
1000 points, ended June 30, 2008, 160 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Kill Me by LullabyxxDreamer.
600 points, ended July 4, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
So, what's your opinion of this?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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there is so much pain..and some suffer more than others....how many friends i have lost to suicide i care not to recall....they say it is the cowards way out..i say to them try it..i have and did not have the courage....nuff said......keep well..eric
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I'm glad it touched you. What she did was an awful thing, I think, and I hope I never take that road to oblivion. But you are right, we don't have any business judging really -- though I was pretty angry at the time. But, as her suicide receded into the past, I was able to think of all her wonderful qualities as I would with anyone who dies.
Thank you, Eric. Take good care.
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Oh Judy just make me cry.
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Thank you. It's been 15 years now and it was so sad! Though I have to say, she kind of pissed me off too! I wonder if she would have had grandkids by now. I haven't kept in touch with the family.
RIP Marlene
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Great write, sad in its implications
I'm not Jewish but grew up with Jewish friends and families so I have been to some of the special events they partake in. I had forgotten what Seder was all about, so I reaquainted myself with its implication and value to the Jewish comuunity as a whole. Like all things surrounding the faith it is deeply spiritual in meaning and connotation. Retelling of the Exodus in a familial setting.
Maybe the problem with your friend is the same one that affects Christians during the holidays. A disconnection and void with family, the feeling of no longer belonging and viewpoint of not giving something of worth to the occasion. Depression is something few recognize and those who do view it, as they are just looking for attention. Woe be us for the lack of attention.
I think the third and fourth stanzas say all we need to know. The roommate, the mules, the telephone. Did anyone really listen.
return the favor
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Well, I began by looking up the word seder. It wan't in my online dictionary so I resorted to old faitful, an unabridged webster's: commemoration of the jewish exodus at passover.
The girl, unable to celebrate her cultural tradition of realized freedom, seems unable to find freedom or accomplishment in her own life.
"her little blue mules/She had kicked to one side," effectively and unfortunately describe her death struggle.
Cobain's mention places the girl's age and time period well.
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The lady actually died on the last day of the Jewish high holiday of Pesach (Passover). I'm not Jewish but I remember being in her kitchen and noticing the date of her death on her Jewish calendar. Your interpretation ("The girl, unable to celebrate her cultural tradition of realized freedom, seems unable to find freedom or accomplishment in her own life.") makes sense but I think that, for my friend, it was a case of the religious festival simply intensifying a downward spiral. I can't remember if she had been invited to any of the seders and I believe there are three of them.
She was no girl, she was 57, as I recall. But that's a detail. I can't remember if the Cobain death happened before or after but it certainly intensified the feelings I had in reaction to my friend.
I'm so impressed that you looked up "seder". My friend's Jewishness was so important to her though, in the Jewish religion as in the Christian faith, suicide is not condoned.
Can't believe it happened 15 years ago! Thanks for your comment.
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thats beautiful and sad... what is a seder though? thats what confused me... maybe i should look it up but i dont have any time lol too many entries.. well this was beautiful and i may just have to add to finalists. thank you so much for your entry, and good luck!
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Wow... This sort of leaves me speechless. I'm afraid I don't know anyone who's gone through anything like this. Sorry. One.
Dez
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This was sad, and you can really feel the emotion and pain.
'Her hand still clutched the telephone.
No one knows if she tried
To make a call and change her mind.
She'd changed it several times before.'
Thats my favourite stanza, it was the one that made me feel the most pain I think.
This was loverly, full of pain but beautiful all the same.
♥
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So sad...such pain. Life is so different for those who are inclined to end it at will. The poem is wonderfully written and offers the reader a chance to feel this loss with you. Thanks for the entry.
Az
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