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For My Husband

Cover

Once upon a time
My true love I did find
You came into my life
And made me your wife


Inside

As the years went by
You did nothing but lie
I hope you have a stroke
I'm leaving on a boat


Forever...The End
"Darlin'tlc"

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • flyingphoenix
    May 22, 2008

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    Good write.

    I like the way you seperated your poem into three. I must say, stroke/boat felt a little like you were reaching for a rhyme.

    A nice poem, though, I like how it ends on a positive note.

    Thanks for entering, good luck

    Sunny


  • Blood Bloom
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow! just simply utterly wow! best of luck in the contest!


  • TwiztidMaggot
    May 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is pretty good. the last bit, stroke, boat... kind of seemed like you were trying really hard to find a rhyme. But either way, you did good. Keep it up!! Best of luck in my cotnest.

  • Liveloveperforming
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Wow! This piece is really powerful and full of emotion. I particularly like the layout because the single words which stand alone really add to the sense of isolation and also help the poem to flow from one verse to another. I also feel that the change in tone during the second verse is very effective because when you first begin to read you think that the poem is going express love and affection. Well Done.


  • Lil-Bit Crazy
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really good to bad they dont make real cards like this cause i sure could send a few out.. good luck in the contest.... nice to met you...


  • badddgirl
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Forever...The End

    Well done my friend!


    • darlintlc silver member
      April 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Glad u liked it! This was a fun contest.
      I really don't wish a stroke on anyone although at times u really feel that "PO" lol

1 - 7 of 7