The laws that govern all there is are few
But work in ways so hard to comprehend
And everything we have to learn is new,
We cannot yet begin to see the end.
It's clear that matter is not as it seems.
We know the laws that govern everyday.
There is no magic power built from dreams
No ruling mind above us holding sway.
And yet connections can span all of time,
While time itself may not be real at all.
The way it works a mystery sublime.
To probe the answers is our greatest call.
For life itself is just a simple game
And total comprehension is the aim.
Author notes
Reading philosophical sonnets brings you to this!!!
In a list
A contest entry
- Villanelles, sonnets and pantoums only by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Editing ...
has changed this so that I barely recognize it. (Not that that's a bad thing, just commenting.)
It's rather more simple phrasing that I'm used to seeing from you though. However, all in all, it's a fine sonnet.
Good luck in the contest. -
Nicely structured, and well thought through. You do not need the self-deprecating comment in the "Author's notes" - you have produced a fine piece of work here!
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I'd change ...
real in the last line to "heart-felt" and it would work and sound better, since the meter would work better. Otherwise, good job on this one.
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well penned here poet..my favorite rhymer.
Great job..I will be back to attack this one..or do the Mona Lisa LMAO...
love ya
Tory
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I'm sorry sir, but I don't understand the first two lines, what do you mean by "couched in space" I enjoy the overall message of the piece, but it is ever so slightly clunky around the edges. Maybe a second draft and a thesaurus would benefit this piece. I've noticed a lot of people seem to plump for the time/sublime rhyme too
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couched means in this contest expressed and the space I'm referring to is the area of understanding.
Time sublime is a favourite rhyme because there are a limited number of suitable ones! Notmally for that reason I avoid rhyming time. Unfortunately here the concept of time is quite important to my content.
If the "couched in space" was not clear to you then to get my message across I need to pick words more carefully. It should always be clear from the context what unfamiliar usages mean. So I've failed
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And why not...
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