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Through Her Eyes

Through her eyes she sees death,
through her eyes, she sees sickness
through her eyes, she sees harrassment.
When she goes to school, she sees
black children getting beat up by
The teacher's who she thought were nice,
through her eyes, she sees nothing but
smoking, and drinking from her parents.


But, through her ears, she hears....
I love you...

what was your first thought?

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    April 27, 2008
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    ...

    i want to say thank you to everyone for helping me through writing poetry... it has not been so easy because i am not sure how gifted i am.


  • toomysterious
    April 27, 2008

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    Read your comments and saw you want more advice. The only thing I would change is the capital on The in front of teachers, no apostrophe there either. The concept is good and the flow, too. All poetry is interpreted in light of the readers experiences, but am I correct in my assumption that you were trying to show the dichotomy between what we as a society show, and what we say?


  • toomysterious
    April 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nothing like sending mixed messages. We do it so well. I really like how you have done this. It is extremely good.
    The background is perfect, too.


  • Cerbie20
    April 23, 2008
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    you know, this has so much truth to it... like the beginning. for some reason, that is just how people actually live these days... but i like how at the end you add in that you have some sort of hope... it shows that the world should have that same hope. i really like this, so keep up the good work!


  • xox-emma-xox
    April 22, 2008

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    Wow, this was really good. It is sad to say that some people live this every day of their life. Very well written. I especially loved the ending!
    Emma ^_^
    Best to you in future writings!!!!!


  • Eyes Wide Shut gold member
    April 21, 2008
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    Awe. My first thought was TRAGEDY, but you ended it on a nice happy note!

    Good job dear!


  • OutOfControl
    April 19, 2008

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    This really touched me, there is so mch grief and trouble in a childs life because there are so many things they don't understand, yet they understand what love is and it can make all of their worries disapear instantly. Keep it up, I like it.


  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    umm...

    please when you are commenting, can you please give me advice.... that is really what i would like to hear. like maybe... whati could fix or improve on,..

1 - 8 of 8