Youth Exuberance cracks like cheap china
corroding luster through middle-age haze,
destination's carnal complacency
temporarily shadows calm malaise.
Worn tracks dissipate across aching arms
beaten by mad dreams of an obscure poet,
roads lay down bravely into extinction's
guarantee with alcoholic etiquette.
Twenty-one years to live in the glory
when disaster disassembles set pride's
bullet bravado passed on by the father
as I watched him die along his bedside.
Repetition is hardly becoming
but it's my identity, what goes on
like the funeral amusement of t.v.,
there's little vanity in isolation.
A contest entry
- metaphors by james119.
625 points, ended May 1, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell Me?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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The thrid stanza is extremely powerful, sort of sucker punches you when you read it. The entire thing is filled with good imagery and metaphore, and I like how each stanza kind of falls into the next..in a slightly randomish yet not random way. LoL. But all in all, this be a masterpiece.
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wow !
The first verse is so shakespeare-like (except for the china) It is a pleasure to read.
The second presents such a strong image...
Third verse... OK, I love them all. such progression!
I wondered as to the connection with the title, until I saw the last verse tie it in so well.
The story seems very personal... and reflective.
Thanks for a great read. no nits
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I feel the "personal" from this and as always you are rocking this page with metaphors and images brought forth from memory...
Especially love this...
Worn tracks dissipate across aching arms
beaten by mad dreams of an obscure poet,
Becky
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The third stanza is very powerful...
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truly outstanding...very personal. the flow is right on...a dark write that spans a life. crystal imagery..love the first line, begins with a punch. "bullet bravado"..."funeral amusment"- fantastic. excellent all around, which is no surprise to me.
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alcoholic etiquette, i could do with some of that msyelf at times, instead of just being an idiot when i drink lol
ah yeah in isolation, who needs that then. a good piece, full of powerful sighs.
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