Clickety clack, clickety clack
monotonous sounds
in clarity's view on empty faces.
Lulling movements
as thoughts roll around,
decisions murky
succumbing to drowsiness.
Some eyes glued to newspaper
or vacantly watching
the world whizz by.
Others have ears glued to Ipods,
all eyes glazed over
in mesmerised rhythm.
Mobile phones interrupt
with cacophony of jingled rings
as conversation with abandon
intrudes on rhythm's pulse.
The finale drums
with a squeal and a jolt,
and reality invades,
panicky faces questioning
if they must succumb
to journey's destination.
Author notes
Prompt - Public Transport
(thanks to phooey69 on deviantart for the image)
In a list
A contest entry
- QUICKIE, ENDS SUNDAY by TheRoughDraft.
380 points, ended April 20, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
You've really captured the feeling of the trade ride, particularly the numbness and the jolt at the end.
Well done!
-
Very well written. The descriptions are wonderful, exactly my thoughts when on a train! I was beginning to think there was lack of depth until you wrote the last stanza.
'...Reality invades,
panicky faces questioning/ if they must succumb/
to journey's destination'
I like that impact at the end. Yup definitely liked this. Keep it up!
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