before I exhale the last sigh
I want to reach the pen
left next to my pillow
and write my final verses
undress my words
make them reflect my bare thoughts
just as I lived but simpler
leave you a souvenir of my laughter
the real colour of my world
and the intensity of my passion-
few lines of short syllables
disrobed of metaphors
and if you smile and see
my true self on that small paper
I may then close my eyes
and wish you the long good night
Author notes
JFTJOI - Just For The Joy Of It -
not to be judged
Inspired by
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/117362-Manuel-Bandeira-The-last-poem-----O--ltimo-poema
A contest entry
- Naked… Manuel Bandeira… by Peteskid.
1000 points, ended April 21, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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wouldn't it be wonderful if one could
be assured the circumstance of her death that would allow the time and interest to leave such a legacy? Now, "that is a circumstance devoutly to be wished". A fantasy we all share well put in an almost onomatopoeic way in that you are somewhat doing what you are expressing. As poets it is so easy to "get lost in a jungle of our own words". Your's, in this little poem, are authentic and to the point. I like the brevity. My favorite lines are: "undress my words,make them reflect my bare thoughts'and 'short syllables disrobed of metaphor". The best!
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Oh My Word!!
Oh this is a Gem Sweet One and Love the images also the mood You have set with Your words!!
Beautiful voice in the wind!
undress my words
make them reflect my bare thoughts
just as I lived but simpler
These lines grabbed~~
Love this!!
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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this is perfectly beautiful. i love the purity of it. there is an unassuming gracefulness about your phrasing that not only reflects the prompt poets way, but reveals your understanding of the importance of self understanding, and of self revelation. there can be nothing more beautiful, i think than to share that with those who know (have known) you. you have penned it beautifully.
so pleasing to reread.
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Now you may close your eyes, and be content... for I am smiling at these words. Very beautiful, my friend... very beautiful!
41
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absolutely stunning, gorgeous, breathtaking poetry - this is beautiful, Mari..just like you!
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when you exhale
words you did not say are jealous
because they were not chosen to cross your lips
i think this is ...
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This is so very beautiful, Mari... you too write such incredible poetry... every lne, every stanza- pure gold...
- namita
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Would fit the current Huguenauties contest I'm running too, fits my topic of last words.
Mark Rickerby added this to his list of favorite poems, cool huh. I was going to tell a joke about the only time I had one of mine on a list but I'll save that for another time.
How sad, MGG's last breath...I won't even entertain the thought!
Of course what works here is that theme of Bandeira's, the search for what is true, what is raw, earthy, pertinent. That desire to strip all the artifice away from writing so that what remains is the essence, it's what I like about his poetry, and yours...you both share that and interestingly I discovered that in your poetry before I ever read Bandeira.
"and if you smile and see
my true self on that small paper"
That is the thing, to leave something real there, whether we are discussing the moon or purple cows, that remains, to leave something of yourself within the poem...it makes it more grnuine.
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A majestic bravery you display
in your description of life's
last hurrah, bared to the core,
the eloquent last expression.
Bravo!!!!!
Aesthete
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This is beautiful Mari... excellent use of metaphors and nice take on the prompt... keep on penning dear... Good luck in the contest...
mina
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Wow, Mari...this is so wonderful and touching, my friend. You have such a way with poetry..."undress my words," "disrobed of metaphors." Your words are so well dressed, your metaphors, robed in such fine dressings. I'm sincerely in awe of the beauty of your voice
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Joshua!!! My dear friend, how happy I am to see your name here again!
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This is beautiful, Mari...your true self shines so softly on this page... our poems are indeed diaries of our souls. Loved this one - I hope it's not your last poem, my friend.
~ Nicolette
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You know me Nic, my poems may be short but I like to talk, I think I'd feel like writing a novel, just to annoy my friends before I leave
Dank je lieveling
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You write that novel, Mari - annoying or not, lol - and I'll read the light of your voice!!
"lieveling" - almost the same as "liefling" in Afrikaans
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Beautiful. It's hard to capture the need to write. You nailed it. Great work.
Mark
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Thanks Mark
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"The last poem" brought so many deep and revealing thoughts to mind when i read the translation at OP, a farewell, a summing up, a kiss goodbye; a declaration of passion for life...and so this poem, someone left a pen and paper, and seems to bring this wonderful depth, tender thoughts from a quiet place, that kindness and love be the legacy...lingering treasures above all other things, and a wonderful passion for life...so very well done here...PK
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