verse one: the volume of my whisper
turns my lungs inside out
i won't understand consequence
i won't understand this doubt
falling into tomorrow
trying to hold onto today
yesterday is mythology
yesterday is too late
don't look down cuz you're too high up to fall...
now
Chorus: i'm not looking for appeasement
i'm not looking for a change
i'm not asking very much
i'm not asking you to wait
but before you close the door
before you hit the lights
tell me that you don't care
if this doesn't turn out right
verse two: the crash of your breathing
makes this all seem too loud
i won't look away from you
i won't ever look down
tracing over your face
until it is my own
until i'm sure you feel me
in every single bone
don't look me in the eyes cuz i don't know what you'll find...
now
Chorus: i'm not looking for appeasement
i'm not looking for a change
i'm not asking very much
i'm not asking you to wait
but before you close the door
before you hit the lights
tell me that you don't care
if this doesn't turn out right
bridge: this isn't what it looks like
this isn't what it seems
you will assume i'm the captive
of some stupid teenage dream
the pulse of indecision
rides within my own
through my veins and out my body
into the unknown
Chorus: i'm not looking for appeasement
i'm not looking for a change
i'm not asking very much
i'm not asking you to wait
but before you close the door
before you hit the lights
tell me that you don't care
if this doesn't turn out right
tag: the volume of my whisper
turns my lungs inside out
you hold me like you love me
i don't know what happens now...
Author notes
i wrote this with one thing in mind. but when i re-read it, it seemed to have become something totally different. i mean, to someone outside of my head, this sounds like it's about sex. (don't say 'no' cuz i know some of you were thinking that...)
however, this isn't about sex. it's about letting yourself love someone completely, despite the disasters that can ensue in the act of giving your heart away.
yeah...it still needs a bit of work. and music. though i think i might have something...
<3
In a list
A contest entry
- Wow Me by Lord Bob.
450 points, ended June 3, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (= Prewrites!!!!! ENTER NOW!!!!!!!!! =) by xCandieKissesx.
525 points, ended May 19, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
thoughts, anyone?
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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So yeah. I thought this fuckin rocked. I liked lines 3&4, line 7, & line 12, especially. When I look back on my childhood and what not, it seems to have kind of a mythology about it. Also, My bf does this thing where he tries to change me, and I'm all for flexibility and stuff, but I don't want to change who I am. So yeah. I totally felt this one. Great write.
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I really loved reading this and i got your message of totally loving someone (okay, i did think part of it was about sex)
but i did get the jist of it!
I'd love to hear it played it sounds so nice on paper and i was trying to sing it myself... but i guess i'll never know what it sounds like
but it was beautiful to read
..xxx
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thanks. and actully, you might be able to hear this. me and my best friend have started a band and we're posting this song on our website. i'll send you the link when we have it up.
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wow.. that'd be great.. thanx...xxx
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You guys did an AMAZING job performing this.
<3 -
Oh my dear I'm a total spaz because I can't wait to perform this with you!!!
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i can't wait to preform this either!
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wow...
reading your notes,I have to say i did not hink of sex when I was reading this... and the true meaning of your beautiful lyrics is very dear to me!!! Exactly what I'm going through...VERY!!! nice!!!
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ha, now that I read it again, I see how people could mistake it for sex.
I liked these lines:
falling into tomorrow
trying to hold onto today
I think that's kinda what I'm doing right now.
This was amazinggggg<3 -
im really feeling ur lyrics here. i found this to be a very well written piece. i like the flow and the concept of it. very good
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This was SOOO amazing. It is one of the deepest things that I've read in a while.
"i'm not asking you to wait
but before you close the door
before you hit the lights
tell me that you don't care"
Just amazing
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thanks Tim. :]
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W O W..... thats about all I can think of saying.
This was AMAZING. Maybe it is just b/c me and my bf are going through a thing right now but this totally made me wanna cry. There is so much emotion and I can totally relate to it. Your words are beautiful. Again AMAZING job and keep it up.
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this awsome...yes the first thing that came to my mind was sex but as I looked deeper I saw something more I can't quite put my finger on it but it is very beutiful and I'm inspired...
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"but before you close the door
before you hit the lights
tell me that you don't care
if this doesn't turn out right"
"tracing over your face
until it is my own
until i'm sure you feel me
in every single bone"
"the volume of my whisper
turns my lungs inside out
you hold me like you love me
i don't know what happens now..."
God, Julia.
This definitely just became one of my favorite poems by you.
Fucking stellar.
Reminds me of someone...
Anyway, I love it.
I wish I could give you more than three applause.
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thanks mia. it actully is comming along pretty well with music. i'm tempted to play it at coffee house.
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dannnnnnng
that was awesome!! i loved it alot! id so have it on my ipod! i think it is perfect <33
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thanks<3
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Wow, this is really kewl. You really need to turn it into a song, and when you do, let me know. Do you have a band?
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i actully just finished music for it about 10 minutes ago...
and yeah, i sorta have a band. though it's kinda just me and a bassist right now... -
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Oh, that's pretty awesome
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yeah. it's cool. i have a lot of fun with it.
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good job=]
this is really good.
i'd so have this on my ipod xD
good luck with it =]
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well...hopefully someday it will be on your ipod. :] thanks for reading!<3
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good song! very emotional and full of power, i liked it.
keep up the good work
-christina
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thanks! i'm glad you liked it. <3
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