I have had dreams of you
In black and white
With the color of life
Drained away
And nothing to point
Fingers at
I have had to subdue
In the quietest of nights
Love's grisly, serrated knife
Assorted disarray
Of useless feelings that disjoint
Bend and crack
Under the weight of toilsome delay
The pieces never quite fit
Thus the puzzle lay incomplete
Jagged by the conjecture
That this is falling apart
Without being whole in the first place
Stifles any desire for progression
Though not one to really quit
I have collected all of my defeats
Strewn in mirrored fractures
And welded a reflective heart
That you may once see your true grace
Spark plugs to my ever glowing obsession
For eternally, shall you ever be my Black Monday
In black and white
With the color of life
Drained away
And nothing to point
Fingers at
I have had to subdue
In the quietest of nights
Love's grisly, serrated knife
Assorted disarray
Of useless feelings that disjoint
Bend and crack
Under the weight of toilsome delay
The pieces never quite fit
Thus the puzzle lay incomplete
Jagged by the conjecture
That this is falling apart
Without being whole in the first place
Stifles any desire for progression
Though not one to really quit
I have collected all of my defeats
Strewn in mirrored fractures
And welded a reflective heart
That you may once see your true grace
Spark plugs to my ever glowing obsession
For eternally, shall you ever be my Black Monday
Author notes
This is dedicated to Aylsha Davis. I actually kind of cheated for I have written a whole series to her by the same 'Black Monday' title but have never shown it to her. This would actually be #8 and as of now, the final piece in the series, thus the unusual title. Enjoy.
A contest entry
- small words that count more than the whole world by Dienush.
4300 points, ended April 29, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this is full of paradox and demonstrates a lot of emotion...
thank you for entering the contest. -
wow love this poem ver very good heep it up


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loved this one, the conclution was just what the dr. ordered.
i hope this aylsha davis is happy, and then some.
KNIGHT TIME

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Aww... show it to her
... she'll love it... you lost me near the end but I got the whole hidden love part... my fave part...
'I have had to subdue
In the quietest of nights
Love's grisly, serrated knife
Assorted disarray
Of useless feelings that disjoint
Bend and crack'...

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Except for the last full stanza, which seemed weaker than the rest of the poem, I found this captivating, full of clever imagery, and beautiful. You have described secret love quite accurately and if you sometime decide to show this to her, I think she'll like it. I really enjoyed the last line very much, too, it shows so many potential images and meanings. Thank you for your entry.
~Diana

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this was very well written. very descriptive.

1 - 6 of 6







